The National Library - West Wing Fan Fiction

Character(s): Abbey, Jed
Pairing(s): Abbey/Jed
Category(s): Post-ep, Romance, Drama
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine ... except the idea behind the story & the story itself...
Summary: This story is my own little 1st season resolution... From Abbey Bartlet's POV.

My Secret Service agent just knocked on my hotel door. I open my eyes and glanced at the clock, its well after midnight. I sit up in bed and turn on the lamp, "Come in."

The agent looks uncomfortable for one fleeting moment, "There's been an incident, ma'am."

Again my agent looks uncomfortable, "All the details aren't known at this moment ma'am."

I know better than that. My agent knows something, but doesn't want to be the one to tell me.

"We need to fly back to the White House then," I say, slipping out of my bed and into my robe.

I freeze and stare at the agent. Someone I love has been hurt, my God… Zoey. My baby girl. She was there, Zoey was going to the meeting with her father... her father-

The helicopter ride from New York seems endless. The Secret Service still refuses to give me any details, they live up to their name quite well.

We finally land at the hospital and I am swarmed by dark suits. They lead me into the building and through the quiet halls. One suit pushes open a door and directs me inside. The moment I step inside I feel a body fly into my own.

I hold her tightly as I survey the rest of the room. Sam, Charlie, Toby, CJ, that redheaded reporter Danny, and Leo...

"He's in surgery Abbey. A bullet caught him in the arm, but the doctors say he's going to be just fine." Leo answers.

I look around the room again, "Then where-" I stop short... Jed's not here. He's not at the White House. He's not here... Jed's not in this room... Oh God, please no... "Leo?"

Leo gently pulls Zoey out of my arms. He takes my arm and leads me away from the rest of the group.

I keep my breathing normal and my face neutral, my daughter is watching me, "What are the doctors saying?"

"Not much, just that the President was hit. She doesn't know how bad... I couldn't-"

"Abbey, there's one more thing... the men who did the shooting... they were skinheads... They were unhappy about Zoey and Charlie dating." Leo tells me.

I stare at him, "You mean, they were trying to kill people because they didn't like who my daughter was dating?"

"Mrs. Bartlet, the President has come through the surgery with no complications. He is resting in his room."

I can hear the sighs of relief behind me. I nod my head, "Thank you, Doctor. When may I see him?" I stare at the doctor intently and he immediately understands what I am trying to say.

I know she's unhappy, but she nods her head anyway. I run my hand down her head and kiss her forehead before following the doctor out of the room.

I've been a doctor for a long, long time. One of the things I've learned to do is let the detached, clinical persona take over when the threat of panic starts to overwhelm me... Tonight is no different.

"The President suffered one shot in the chest." The doctor tells me. "When he was thrown into the limousine, he hit his head. The President's head was split open, we're looking at a seventy-five percent chance of a serious concussion."

"What's your opinion of a full recovery?" Damn... I can't keep the emotion out of that question... Easy girl, keep it together for a while longer...

"I'm optimistic," the doctor says. "The surgery was the first obstacle and the President came through it very well... much better than I had expected. I believe that, with some rest, he'll recover fully."

"No ma'am," the doctor says, guiding me to Jed's room. "Stay as long as you like. When you're ready for your daughter, use the intercom and someone will send her down."

It's funny, I'm a doctor, but I hate hospitals. I've never liked them. And now I'm in my husband's hospital room, surrounded only by machinery and cold, sterile walls... None of those are words I associate with Jed.

He's laying in bed, hooked up to different machines. His eyes are closed… He looks so tired. I don't think I noticed how tired he looks before... I should have.

I sit in the chair beside his bed and take his hand him both of mine, "Hey Handsome, you've got a whole lot of people worried about you... CJ, Toby, Sam, and Leo... they're worried about you. Zoey's down the hall with them right now. She's fine... but she's scared... Leo's with her."

"Josh was hit in the arm. He's in surgery right now, but he's going to be just fine... Everybody else is waiting down the hall. They're waiting for you to wake up, Jed."

My husband still hasn't moved and, to be honest, I really don't expect him to. Talking just makes me feel better. That's my control mechanism...

"You know what, I think you just like to wake me up in the middle of the night." I say. "You're entirely too good at it. Every important decision you've ever made, you make and then wake me up to tell me... But, I have to admit, this is a switch. Now I'm the one trying to get you to wake up."

"I love you... you know that?" I reach over and stroke his face. "I loved you from the moment I saw you... I know I gave you a hard time for a while, but I've always adored you Jed. And... I really don't know what I would do without you... I don't think I could live without you."

I scoot the chair over and lay my head beside his, "You scared me, you know that? I don't ever want to have someone knock on my door like that again. Don't do this to me again... you gotta learn to duck, Jed. I'm too old to go through stuff like this."

I blink and then sit up. My husband's blue eyes are staring back at me. He's smiling at me with a faint, mischievous glint in his eyes.

"No, you don't," he says. "You find me handsome, sexy, intelligent, and I am the funniest person you've ever met."

I stare at him for a moment longer and then reach over and kiss him, "You're right. I do. And you are."
***

It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion... You can see it coming, you know what's going to happen... but you can't do a damn thing to stop it.

For the past two days, I've been watching the approaching crash... There was something that young doctor neglected to tell me... I guess I can't blame him, he was concerned about me. I guess he figured he'd save the worst news for later.

Jed's been kept on heavy painkillers in the two days since the accident. He hasn't noticed yet, but it's only a matter of time... I knew there was something wrong when that young doctor came into the room and requested to talk with me outside.

"Thank you." I take them from him. Slipping on my glasses, I begin to glance over them. I'm about to hand them back to him when something catches my eye. I spot something on the x-ray that shouldn't be there. "What's this?"

I sit in Jed's room, watching as he talks on the phone with Hoynes. I don't really like John Hoynes and I know Jed doesn't like him, but I have to admit that Hoynes has been a great relief through all of this. He stepped into Jed's position quietly and has kept Jed updated and informed, calling several times a day, leaving messages when Jed wasn't awake... My opinion of John Hoynes has gone up a great deal.

Jed's getting tired again... I can see it in his eyes. I catch those eyes and make a motion to my watch. He nods and wraps up the conversation.

"When the doctor and I think you're ready." I smooth back some hair that has fallen out of place. "And you're not, by the way."

He makes a face, "Fine, then when are you going to let me out of this bed? I'm tired of being laid up."

I pause for a brief moment and then shake my head, "Don't complain, you're getting some much needed rest."

Sometimes I love the fact that my husband can just about read my mind. Other times, it's a curse. This is one of those times. He caught the hesitancy in my actions.

"Abigail," he uses a tone with me that I seldom hear. He wants to know what has been bothering me for the past two days. He sensed something was wrong before and know he knows it has to do with him.

But I'm not ready... I can't tell him. Not when I can't come to terms with it, yet.

My daughter is sleeping soundly when I peak into her room. I walk over to her bed and pull the covers up over her... She's such a beautiful, sweet child. And someone tried to kill her three nights ago because they didn't like who
she was dating.

She stirs, "Mom..."

"Shh, go back to sleep Zoey."

She murmurs as she turns over in her sleep.

I stand watching her for a few minutes longer... I came so close to loosing her. I walk out of her room and silently close the door behind me. I drag myself down the hall to the bedroom I share with Jed.

Opening the door, I lean into it for a moment. Then I stumble into the bathroom to change clothes... I look over to Jed's closet and I can see where he threw his Notre Dame sweatshirt the last time he took it off.

I walk over and pick it up... It smells like him. I shrug off my own shirt and put his sweatshirt on... I'm tired all of a sudden. It's as if the events of the last few days have just now settled down on me.

I walk out of the bathroom and climb on the bed. Snuggling down in the sheets, I drift off to into a fitful sleep.

I wake several hours later to a strange noise. Shaking the cobwebs out of my head, I recognize the sound of someone knocking on my door. Catching my breath I say, "Who is it?"

Leo opened the door and slips in, "I just came to check on you, Abbey. Are you all right?"

"No." I pause for a moment, unable to continue. "I'm not sure about anything anymore..."

Leo takes my hand, "You have to tell him Abbey. He's going to find out, one way or another, and it would be better for both of you if he found out from you. Then, you can face this together... Abbey, you've got the world on your shoulders... I know you hate to hear this, but you can't handle it by yourself."

Leo cuts me off, "You and Jed are the most loving and honest couple I know. Tell him the truth Abbey... And let him know that you love him. It's going to be okay."

I give my old friend a small smile and hug him, "You should have been a marriage counselor, you know that Leo?"

Leo chuckles, "Yeah, but then, who would the President have to aggravate and harass all the time?"

**
I walk quickly down the hospital hallway. When I reach my destination, I push open the door and look to my husband's bed, expecting to see him there. I blink when I see an empty bed. I stare at it for a moment longer and then start to turn to leave when I voice stops me.

I freeze, closing my eyes for a moment. Then I look around the corner of my husband's room. Jed stares back at me with a look in his eyes I don't recognize. He's sitting in a wheelchair, a blanket covering his legs.

We stare at each other for a long moment. Then, he takes a deep breath, "I had a very interesting conversation with the doctor after you left... A very enlightening conversation that explained a lot..."

I know he's waiting for me to say something. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. He sees this, but waits a few moments more before going on.

"Why Abbey?" Jed pauses and I can see a storm gathering in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me? Why did I have to find out from someone else?"

I try to speak, but the words won't come. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. Jed's angry and he's angry with me.

"Oh, I don't know... Why don't you start with why you didn't tell me? How about that?" Jed says. He's coming to the end of his fuse and about to explode. For once, I don't care. "How about, why you lied to me."

"You didn't tell me the truth!" he yells. "You didn't tell me! You let me lay in that damn bed, thinking the only thing that was wrong with me was a chest wound! You're a doctor! And you didn't tell your patient the truth! You're my wife and you didn't tell your husband the truth!"

"Don't you dare yell at me as if this is my fault!" I yell back at him. "I couldn't tell you! Okay? I couldn't do it! And if the roles were reversed, you know you wouldn't be able to either... So, don't you dare put me through another hell. I've lived through the worst two days of my life." I can feel the tears streaming down my face, but I don't care. I breath deeply, trying to reign in control of my emotions. I look over at my husband, "How the hell was I supposed to tell the person I love most in this world that he may never walk again?"

She takes a few steps into my office, "Aren't you coming to the hospital? Leo, Charlie, and I are-"

I cut her off, "That's exactly why I'm not. The Secret Service doesn't need a huge frenzy with your dad."

"Zoey, I am fully aware of how much time has passed since your father and I spoke. I do not need you to enlighten me." I look back down at the papers on my desk. "Now, go on. It's almost time for you to go get your dad and I have work to do."

I don't look up again, but I sense her hesitating before she turns around and walks off. Once she's gone, I lean back in my chair and remove my glasses. I shouldn't have been so short with her. It's not Zoey's fault her daddy and I aren't talking... it's mine.

There's something to be said about pride. But it's pride that gets in the way most of the time. It's our pride that's keeping Jed and I apart. He won't call and I won't go see him... At least, not while he's awake.

I've slipped into the hospital and sat with him every night for the past week. He doesn't know I'm there and I'm a coward for it. But, it's the only way I can face him right now.

Hours later, Leo, John Hoynes and I are standing outside my bedroom with the young doctor from the hospital.

The doctor tilts his head, "The President has a strong will and I think his prognosis is very good. Of course, we can't be sure how much damage was done until he begins rehab... It's going to be a very long, painful process Dr. Bartlet. However, if the President is to walk again, this is the best path for him."

I nod as Leo leans forward. He has a pressing question, "Doctor, what's your medical opinion as far as the President's ability to return to work?"

The doctor nods, "Of course... Dr. Bartlet, I have left complete instructions in the President's file. I'm assuming that you will be taking over his recuperation?"

"Good, I've left the name and card of the best physical therapist in Washington in with the paperwork. He's expecting your call as soon as the President is ready to begin." The doctor shakes all our hands, "Excuse me, but I'm going to check on my patient one last time before I leave."

The three of us watch as the doctor turns and goes into the bedroom. We stand in silence for a moment longer before Hoynes breaks the silence.

"I'm going to inform all the staff that the President will be returning to work." He turns to me, "Mrs. Bartlet, can you make a guess when that will be?"

"I'll give him this much, Abbey." Leo says. "He's been respectful to the fact that this is still Jed's job... he's made no mention of the twenty-fifth."

Leo gives me a look, "You know, you can't keep restricting your time with him to when he's asleep. You're going to have to deal with him when he's awake, Abbey."

"Is he asleep Leo?" I repeat my question with a tone that leaves no doubt that I do not wish to continue with that conversation.

I turn around and open the door to the bedroom. The doctor is just walking out as I walk in. He pauses for a moment, "I gave him something to make him sleep. He should sleep through the night."

I walk over to the bed where my husband sleeps. I walk around to my side of the bed and crawl on it. I lay down beside him and touch his face, "I love you..."

He stirs a little and I wrap my arm around him and lay my head on his chest. I drift off for a few hours sleep.

**
I wake early the next morning... I want to be gone by the time Jed wakes up. I find that my head still rests on Jed's chest... and that I had the most peaceful night's sleep in a very long time.

I hurry with my morning routine, hurrying to be ready to go when Charlie get here. I walk out of the bathroom and over to the bed. Jed is still sound asleep. I turn the alarm on... it will wake him in ten minutes.

I smooth back the hair from his face and bend down to kiss him. I grab my bag and head out the door.

"Goodmorning Charlie. He should be awake in ten minutes. Did Leo brief you on what you need to do?" I ask.

"Yes, ma'am." Charlie nods his head. "Mr. McGarry gave me all the instructions the doctor left last night. He also said that the President could return to the West Wing today?"

I nod, "If he feels like it. He can stay for a few hours, when he gets tired he's to come back here and rest. Understood?"

It's late in the afternoon when I finally make it back up to the residence… I'm exhausted. Between dealing with people and checking on Jed, I'm ready to fall down.

I walk into the bedroom, I know Jed's not here... I'm safe for a while. I make it to the bathroom and turn on the water in the tub. I need a bath... A long, hot bubble bath. I crawl into the tub and close my eyes, relaxing for a time.

My eyes snap open and I sit upright in the tub. I look across the bathroom, Jed's there... he's sitting in his chair, calmly watching me.

"Yeah... I guess I did." I sit there for a moment longer, unsure what to say. I let out a deep breath and decide to get out of the lukewarm water. I unstop the drain and climb out of the tub. Drying off, I walk over to my closet and, out of habit, take out Jed's sweatshirt, and put it on.

I don't think I've ever been this unnerved in my life. I don't think I've ever been so unsure of myself before...

I can't stand the silence between us. Groping for something to say, I make small talk, "How was your day?"

If he has any reaction to that question, he doesn't show it. Instead, he shrugs, "It was fine. Everyone seemed happy for me to be back. CJ's going to set up a press briefing... she mentioned that you should be there."

"Oh?" Jed sounds surprised. "I wasn't sure if you'd be in the same room with me if I was awake."

He doesn't answer, instead he turns his chair around and rolls out of the bedroom...

Suddenly, the anger that has been building up inside of me erupts. I can't hold it back another minute longer. Looking around, I pick up the first thing I see... a small statue and I hurl it toward the mirror in the bathroom.

I don't even hear the motor of the wheelchair coming back, but I do hear my husband's upset voice calling my name, "Abbey?"

When Jed rolls into the bathroom, I'm kneeling in a pool of glass sobbing like a child.

"Abbey!" he exclaims when he sees me. He, carefully, rolls into the bathroom and stops just short of me, "Abbey, baby, come here."

He reaches down and pulls me up onto his lap, "Hold onto me," he whispers as he takes us out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. He rolls up to the bed, "Abigail, listen to me. You've got to help me onto the bed."

Through my choked back sobs, I hear his voice and follow his orders. After a moment, we're both laying on the bed. Me, practically on top of him, holding on to him very tightly. He, with his arms wrapped tightly around me, holding me close to him.

When my crying eases up he begins to run his hand through my hair, "It's all right Abbey... Everything's going to be just fine."

He kisses the top of my head, "It's okay... It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. I was angry... I'm still angry. But I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Please forgive me?"

"I love you so much it hurts, you know that?" he tilts my head up and looks into my eyes. "And I hate that I hurt you..."

I reach up and brush his cheek, "I love you... I just couldn't... I wasn't ready to tell you."

He nods his head, "I know... and you're right. If it had been you... I wouldn't have been able to tell you yet either. But, I'm going to walk again. Okay? We're going to do this together. Got it?"

"Yes, sir." I give him a smile. I trace the lines on his face gently. He reaches up and grabs my hand. He brings it to his lips and kisses it. I smile at him, "You were right, you know..."

"When you said that I think you're the sexiest, funniest, and most intelligent man I've ever known..."

I know what he wants to know. I know he's scared about how I feel about sharing a bed with him, "You've been my best friend, my husband... my lover for thirty-two years, Josiah Bartlet. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever change any of that... Not any of that... You got that?"

***
Jed and I have spent two days locked away from everyone in our room. Much of that time has been spent with the two of us making up... healing from the blows that have been inflicted upon us... both by others and by one another.

We're watching television right now. Jed's in bed, with the remote in his beside him... He has his 'King of the Remote Control' shirt on. The girls gave him that for Father's Day a couple of years ago...

I shake my head and watch the television a few moments more, "You're watching a soap opera..."

I reach over and put my hand on his forehead. He removes my hand, "I haven't been watching a soap opera."

He reaches over and tucks a strand of loose hair behind my ear, "I've been watching my wife stare at her calendar for the past fifteen minutes with a decidedly unhappy expression on her face."

I let my head fall back and hit the headboard, "Four weeks... I'm suppost to go on a medical, mission of mercy tour. I don't want to go. I want to stay with you..."

He interrupts me, "Listen to me Abigail. I'm going to start some intensive therapy-"

"Abbey, shut up and listen to me." Jed says, catching my face in his hand. "We both need a break... and truth by told, I want you out of Washington for a while. I want you away from me and my problem."

Three days after that conversation, I'm standing in our bedroom as I finish dressing. Jed's all ready up and in his chair, dressed and ready for the day.

"Almost." I say, bending down to look for my shoe under the bed. "I can't find my shoe."

He rolls over and smacks me on my behind, "Hurry up woman! You're gonna be late!"

I give a little yell as I find my shoe. I turn back to him, "Was that necessary?"

I smile as I sit in his lap and he rolls us down the hallway. I'm quite sure that we make quite a site, but I really don't care. We roll up to where my car is waiting to take me to the airport.

"Okay Abbey," he says, reaching up and rubbing my cheek with his thumb. "I'll be fine. Don't worry."

We lean towards each other and for a few, short moments there's no one else in the world but us. Finally, I rise from his lap and an agent opens the door for me. My hand lingers in Jed's for a moment longer and then I climb into
the car, rolling down the window.

He smiles at me, but I know he's fighting the urge to cry. I know that because I'm dealing with the same emotion at that very moment.

The car pulls into motion and I watch him until his figure disappears from my sight.