Smile

by: Kelley

Rating: TEEN
Category: A/U, general, Josh/Amy, [just for a little while], D/other, J/D
Spoilers: Anything through the first three seasons is fair game but I’ll try to stick to pre-"Stirred".
Disclaimers: I have absolutely no claim to these West Wing characters whatsoever, no matter what the voices inside my head say. As for any other references to pop culture I may make that I don’t own, I am a lowly high school student with a C+ average, no money, and a highly overactive imagination so please don’t sue! Emma Wilder, Ben Peterson, T.J. Moss, Nicole Moss-Braun, Lily Irving, Mena Falansio, and Dr. Michael Flynn are entirely my creation and I retain all rights to exclusively use them in my fics.
Feedback: I will shave a monkey’s uncle for feedback, baby!
Notes: The story starts after the Democratic National Convention, where the president was re-nominated and is pretty much A/U. There will be flashbacks that will be marked with *****. The president finally hired a replacement for Mrs. Landingham and he chose Donna. Since she, like the rest of us, can’t stand to see Josh with Amy she took the job. Also Bruno, Connie, and Doug never existed in this universe. Other than that, everything’s pretty much as is.

GWU: 6:00PM Two Days Later

"I still don’t understand why you couldn’t call me," Mena said to her grandchildren, a light Italian accent still gracing a few of her words.

They were waiting outside Donna’s room while the doctor was doing a quick examination. She was still in a coma, but the good news was that Emma was a preliminary match for donation. They just had to wait and see what the final analysis showed before they could go ahead with the procedure.

"Bella is my grandchild, I practically raised her myself, and the both of you for that matter, yet the two of you thought..." She continued pacing slowly in front of them with her arms folded, a position both Nicole and T.J. knew for a fact their grandmother only did when she was royally pissed. They had seen a lot of it in high school.

"We didn’t think that, Mena, I swear," Nicole tried to explain, as she had been trying to do for the past twenty-four hours "Donna asked us not to call you. She didn’t want you to worry and we felt that she..."

"Was capable of making a rational decision at a time like this? I’m starting to think all that money I spent for you on college was an expense I could have done without, Nicolette," the old woman scolded her. She glanced over and caught T.J. trying to stifle the small grin that he got whenever he saw that his thirty-two year old sister still couldn’t stand up to their grandmother, even after all these years. But the ironic thing was neither could he. "And you, young man," steering he ire at him instead. "You think that you’re completely innocent in all of this too?"

"No, ma’am," he answered promptly, his grin immediately fading.

"Good," she responded, her anger lessening. "Now I’ve been listening to you two and Lily fighting cats and dogs with these people from the White House for the past day over right and wrong and God knows what else while Bella is fighting for her life in that room," pointing towards her room. She gave each of them a hard glare. "Now as of this moment, no more fighting or arguing amongst yourselves or with Bella’s friends. What we do now is pray that Emma is a match and that your sister gets well. Understood?" Nicole and T.J. both nodded to the affirmative. They had both learned long ago that their grandmother was not someone to be trifled with.

Philomena Rosemary Falansio, or Mena as her family always called her, had immigrated to America from a small village outside Rome when she was only thirteen after she’d been orphaned by horrific car accident that had killed her parents and three siblings. She had come to this country with dreams of becoming an actress. Upon her arrival in New York, she began making the rounds on the modeling circuit, believing that within a year, she’d be a star. A year later, she was a single, unwed mother to beautiful baby girl she named Antonia, or Toni as she was called. With no money, no job, and no family to help her, Mena decided to take her baby and leave New York for Wisconsin where she had a friend who said that Mena could probably find work.

She didn’t find work, so much, as she found a husband. A wonderful man for whom she thought the sun rose and set upon, along with Toni. His name was Hal Wilder, an older man who was twenty-five years old when they met, and a local doctor who was beloved by his patients and still made house calls, even on a Saturday. They met when Mena was sixteen and Toni was three and they were married two years later, with Hal adopting Toni and giving her his name. Together, they lived in Madison where he continued his small practice and she took as a receptionist in his office. Everything was going wonderfully until Toni was fifteen and got into trouble. Big trouble.

Abortion was still so taboo back then and even if it weren’t, Toni wouldn’t have done it. Instead, she and the baby’s eighteen year-old father, Evan Moss, decided to get married before Evan was drafted into the service. Seven months later, Nicolette Morgaine was born and Mena was a grandmother at thirty. Over the next six years, Evan returned home and two more grandchildren, Donnatella Igraine and Tomasso Arthur, [named after Mena’s father], followed Nicole but everything in Mena’s life shattered when her beloved husband, Hal, was struck and killed by a drunk driver while trying to help a passing motorist on the highway. A grief-stricken Mena was left with a twenty one-old daughter working two jobs, three grandchildren to help care for, all of whom were under the age of seven, an absentee, drug-addicted son-in-law, and a mounting pile of bills. So Mena did the only thing she knew how to do; she survived. In fact, she not only survived, she thrived.

She went back to school and earned her degree in business. Over the next several years, she cultivated her love and talent of cooking into numerous, original recipes that allowed her to open her own gourmet food store, that later turned into a chain of stores all over the Midwest. She shared this newfound wealth with her daughter and grandchildren openly but never with Evan, who had grown detached and distant since his time in Vietnam had ended. Eventually, she and Toni would discover that he’d turned to drugs during the war and was a full-fledged heroin addict by the time he got home. He refused to try rehab and just came and went as he pleased, no matter how much it hurt wife and children. Of course he deeply loved the children, even Mena could see this, but he wasn’t a father to him and Mena often told Toni this. But Toni, bless her heart, was determined to be a wife to him and honor her marriage vows, no matter what the cost to herself. But good intentions and determination were just not enough to save the marriage. One day, out of the blue, Evan just packed up and left. Woke up, left the house, and just never came back. He wrote occasionally to the children and they supposedly knew where he was living now but he was essentially gone from their lives. Mena, while sorry that her grandchildren were growing up without a father in their lives, was glad that her daughter was rid of that particular burden. But Toni’s burdens became much heavier in December of 1985.

She thought it was just a cyst, that’s what the doctors had told her. But it wasn’t. By the time they finally did the biopsy, the cancer had metastasized to Toni’s lymph nodes and her lungs. They originally thought they could get all the cancer with surgery but after six months and twenty-two operations, everyone knew it was useless. Chemotherapy would only give her a year at the most but she wanted to end her life peacefully, not pumped full of chemicals that didn’t allow her to function. So she decided to go quietly, without a fight. She and the children lived at Mena’s spacious home during that time and it was painful for all of them to see Toni like that, especially Donna who insisted on sitting with her mother at least once a day. Finally, on March 2, 1986, Antonia Lysette Wilder past away at the age of thirty-two with her mother crying silently at her side. The children had already said their good-byes. Mena was only forty-six and she had buried both her husband and her only child. Mena wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and just wait to die but she knew she couldn’t. Nicole was sixteen by then, Donna had just turned fourteen and T.J. was only ten. Now Mena was left to finish the job of raising the children that her daughter had started.

She did her very best and she thought it was a good job for the most part. Sure Nicole could be bossy and pig-headed and T.J. had gotten into a lot of trouble during high school. But they all made it through without killing each other so Mena considered it a success. Mena mostly survived because of Donna. She never would have admitted it to anyone, not even herself, but Donnatella, her sweet Bella as Mena had always called her, was the joy of her life, her saving grace. She was her mother’s daughter in every way except for her father’s wholesome Midwestern looks. The only thing that troubled her about Donna was the certain naiveté that she carried with her, something that got her trouble more than once. But Donna had never disappointed her, until Ben. Mena thought he was a louse from the start and repeatedly tried to warn her granddaughter but Donna wouldn’t listen, much like her mother had been about Evan. And history repeated itself yet again.

When Donna had come to her after Emma was born and asked her to take custody of the baby, Mena balked. She was only fifty-five years old and the idea of raising her great-granddaughter was not something that appealed to her. But after she saw the desperation and fear in Donna’s eyes at the prospect of giving the baby up for adoption, her love for Donna won out. Emma Antonia Wilder, [she’d been given her maternal grandmother’s maiden name since she had been born in same hospital where Ben worked and he insisted any record of the child’s birth not tie him to it in anyway], had a home and not surprisingly, was her great-grandmother’s favorite new toy by the end of day.

Everything soon settled back to normal. When Donna finally left Ben three months after Emma was born, Mena pushed her granddaughter to leave Madison, saying she didn’t belong here. After seeing the look on Donna’s face when she saw a televised speech of Governor Bartlet, she urged Donna to go and find a job with him. At first, Donna balked at the prospect of having to leave Emma behind, since there was no way she could have worked on a campaign and taken care of an infant. But Mena knew, as she always did, what was right for Donna and assured Donna that she’d always be Emma’s mother and that Mena would never let the child forget it. And she never did, not for minute. A day hadn’t go by that Donna didn’t talk to or email Emma and she saw her as often as possible. Donna was her mother, Emma just happened to live with Mena. And all had been well, until now. 

"Excuse me, Ms. Falansio?" a voice asked Mena. She turned and saw Dr. Flynn in front of her holding a sheet of paper. Nicole and T.J. both looked to him.

"Yes?" Mena asked.

"We have the results from the analysis of the blood work done on Donna and Emma," he started. The three of them all looked to him hopefully. He smiled at them. "She’s a perfect match for Donna."

At hearing the words, the three of them all had different reactions. Nicole had happy tears streaming down her face, T.J let out a quick shout of victory and started dancing around the room while his sister laughed at him. Mena closed her eyes and gave a silent prayer of thanks to the God she had cursed to for so many years. He’d finally come through for her.

"Now it’s a little late to get started on anything at this time of night," Dr. Flynn said, raising his voice to be heard over the celebration, "but we can get the initial paperwork out the way. Consent, insurance, all that can be taken care of."

"Doctor, what are Donna’s chances?" Mena asked him concerned.

"Well I won’t lie to you," he told them. "The odds aren’t a hundred percent guaranteed that the transplant will work. That being said, I’m much more optimistic about her odds today than I was yesterday."

"And Emma?" Nicole asked worriedly. "Are there any risks for her?"

"Yes, there are. But there are risks in any type of medical procedure, especially on children. It’ll be painful for her and she’ll most definitely cry afterwards but I’m really not all that concerned. We’ve done this procedure on children much younger than Emma and they were perfectly fine within the next few days." He turned back to Mena. "If you could come with me now and get the initial paperwork out of the way, I can get the team together for tomorrow."

"Of course," she told him. "I’ll be there in a moment." He nodded and left the small group to celebrate. Mena turned back to her grandchildren and wrapped them both up into her arms. They stood like that for a moment, just letting the relief wash over them like a wave in the ocean. They finally broke apart and Mena immediately went into a more professional mode.

"We have to call everyone," she said to the two of them. "I’m going to fill out this paperwork and you two are going to get in touch with everybody. Make sure to call Lily first, she should be back at her hotel by now."

"What about Josh?" Nicole asked. "Shouldn’t we call him first?

"No he’s already here," Mena told her. "I think he was going to get something he left upstairs last night. So, phone calls? Someone get on it."

"I’ll do it," T.J. replied, going over to the pay phones. He stopped and turned back sharply when he reached the end of the hallway. "Wait, what about Emma? I mean shouldn’t we be telling her about tomorrow?"

"Yes, of course we should," Mena conceded, rubbing her forehead. She looked around as she suddenly remembered that Emma wasn’t with them. "We’ll need to tell her about Donna to. Oh, it’s gonna be so hard for her to understand." She sighed softly and looked up. "Where did she go?" Emma usually waited in a small playroom that was visible from where they were standing but Mena couldn’t see her from where she stood.

"I took her back up to the room to lie down before I came to see Donna," answered Nicole. "I’ll go up and get her." She went to the elevators and got on, pushing the button for her floor. She waited patiently, lost in her thoughts, until she heard the ding and the doors opened. She departed the car and headed to the rooms that her family was occupying during Donna’s stay here. She walked into the room where Emma’s things were and prepared to speak. "Emma, honey, time to wake..." the words died on her lips as she took in the scene in front of her.

Her niece was sprawled out on top of a body, a blanket covering her back. Her hair was in pigtails and she was holding on to a ragged-looking stuffed bunny that she had had since she was an infant. She looked content and peaceful, lost in the simple sleep that children are blessed with. But it wasn’t Emma’s appearance that surprised her; it was the appearance of what, or rather whom, she was lying on.

Josh Lyman was sleeping underneath Emma, fully clothed, his mouth slightly open and small line of drool dripping onto his pillow. His hair was mused, his dress shirt looked wrinkled, and his coat was tossed haphazardly on the floor. And even though the blanket covered most of him, Nicole could see through the outline of the blanket that Josh’s arms were wrapped around the girl, holding her steady and protecting her from whatever fears may come to her. The image was striking to Nicole. It caused a little seed of happiness to begin to spread through her but which was just as quickly was replaced by fear. Fear that something could go wrong tomorrow, fear that everything wasn’t as simple as the doctor said it would be, and fear that even if everything went fine tomorrow Donna and Emma could still get hurt. Not by medicine but by man, the man Nicole was looking at now. Nicole had seen so many men hurt her sister in the course of Donna’s life; their father, Ben, even Josh had caused her some form of pain over the years. She knew that Josh deeply loved her sister but love didn’t guarantee anything. Now, looking at the sleeping figures in front of her and thinking about how much time Emma and Josh had spent together over the past two days, Nicole realized that Donna not only had to worry about herself being hurt by Josh, she also had to worry about protecting her little girl’s heart too.

"Hey," Josh’s gravely voice surprised Nicole out of her reverie. He looked at her with tired eyes and carefully brought one of his hands out of the tiny confines of Emma and the blanket to rub the sleep from his face.

"Hey," she answered back once she had her breath. She glanced at Emma with a small smile. "What happened?" she asked gesturing to the slumbering child.

"Oh, I just came up here to grab my coat and she was still awake," Josh explained quietly, keeping his voice low so not to disturb the little girl. "She said she had a nightmare and she asked me to read to her," motioning with his hand towards the worn copy of "Where the Wild Things Are" that rested on the bedside table. "She was still kind of scared so I got up here to read with her and she just ended up like this before I knew it." He looked down on her with a smile, seemingly enthralled with the tiny body, her back moving up and down as she quietly inhaled and exhaled, that was flung on top of him. "She’s really quite something, isn’t she?" he commented, his awe for the girl reflecting in his tone of voice.

"Yeah," Nicole responded the fear inside her growing. She looked at Josh seriously before continuing. "She’s a perfect bone marrow match for Donna. Dr. Flynn just told us when we were down there."

Josh closed his eyes and leaned his head back, letting Nicole’s words sink into his heart. A full-blown grin broke out on his face and single tear escaped the corner of one of his eyes. Lines of worry disappeared from his face and he mouthed the words ‘thank you’ up towards the ceiling. Nicole smiled at his reaction, her fear momentarily forgotten.  He opened his eyes and looked back at her. "When will they do the procedure?" he asked her.

"Probably tomorrow, if everything goes according to plan," Nicole replied. She reached out with her hand and gently smoothed it over Emma’s head. "We have to tell her about Donna tonight," she continued.

"Yeah," Josh sighed, not wanting to put Emma through that. "How is she? Has there been any...?" he asked hurriedly.

"No, no changes," Nicole said shaking her head. "Dr. Flynn already said he didn’t expect her to regain consciousness unless she got the transplant so I guess this is normal." She let out a deep breath and looked back at the tranquil expression on Emma’s face. "I wonder how she’ll take this."

"I don’t know," Josh told her honestly, his arms instinctively tightening around Emma’s small body. "She already knows something’s wrong with Donna, she just doesn’t know what. I think that’s scared her more than anything else."

Nicole glanced at Josh surprised. No one else had caught onto that. "What makes you say that?" she asked suspiciously.

"She told me this morning," he said. "She kept asking me to just tell her what was wrong with Donna. I wanted to tell her but I didn’t think it was appropriate coming from me. It should be from you guys."

"Yeah, it should be," Nicole agreed, her heart growing heavy as she imagined her niece’s reaction. She thought back to how Emma had been acting for the past two days, how happy she had seemed whenever she spent time with Josh. "Will you be there with us when we tell her?" she asked him quietly. "It would mean a lot to us if you were and I think it’d be easier for her if you’re there."

"Of course I’ll be there," he replied, surprised that she even thought she had to ask. "And I’ll let you guys explain everything, she’ll probably be more comfortable talking to you guys about it than she would me."

"It looks like she’s pretty comfortable with you too," she assured him. "Josh?" she asked tentatively.

"Yeah?"

Nicole tried to organize the thoughts in her head so they’d make sense to him when they came out. "What are your....? I mean how far do you think....? Where does Donna....? What I mean is....?" she jumbled out.

"Nicole just say it, whatever it is..."

"Is Donna the one you want to be with or are you just here out of guilt?" she spit out quickly, the words almost tasting bitter on her mouth. When she saw the look on Josh’s face before he turned away from her, she instantly regretted what she’d said. He looked like she had always imagined he looked hen he was shot. "I’m sorry," she told him contritely. "I’m so sorry, it’s just in all these years you’ve never once said anything to Donna about how you felt and now all of a sudden..." she motioned towards Emma. "What I mean to say is, if this is something you’re doing out of pity, it’d probably be best if..."

"I’ve loved Donna since the first moment I saw her," Josh cut in. He didn’t look at Nicole, choosing to focus on a spot on the ceiling. "I just didn’t know it then but I do now. I think I was just so afraid of what I felt," he continued, his voice calm and quiet, never wavering. "I’ve never needed anyone in my life the way that I need her and I don’t mean with work. She’s just..." he sighed softly. "I can be having the lousiest day at the White House and all I have to do is look at her smiling about...anything and suddenly everything’s not all that bad anymore. She’s it for me, the only one I want to be with. I’m never going to love anyone else the way I love her. I didn’t want to admit it before but I don’t have a choice anymore. There’s no going back for me. I’ve got too much to lose now if she ever decides to leave me again," he finished. He moved his head forward and placed the softest kiss on Emma’s head. The little girl stirred ever so slightly and nuzzled her face closer into Josh's chest. He pulled away and looked at Nicole, whose eyes were misting over, and gave her a half-hearted grin. "I just hope she feels the same way about me," he said sheepishly.

Nicole laughed softly at him. "I think I can say on good authority that that should be the least of your worries at the moment, Josh," she told him smiling. She paused and looked down. "I really am sorry about that. It’s just that Donna’s been hurt by so many men before. And with everything that’s going on now..." she trailed off.

"It’s okay," he told her, reaching over to cover his head with his own. "I understand. You want to protect her from being hurt. I’d do the exact same thing." The silence comforted them both as they watched Emma sleep peacefully for a couple of minutes before Josh spoke up again. "Listen I want to ask you something, but if you don’t feel right telling me, that’s fine."

"Shoot."

"What happened between Donna and Dr. Freeride?"

Nicole looked confused. "Dr. Freeride?"

"Ben," Josh cleared up. "Emma’s..." he paused searching for the right words.

"Sperm donor?" Nicole supplied, a little bit of a playful tone in her voice.

"Yeah, that’ll do," he grinned at her. "I think I understand the basics of what happened between them. I mean, I know where they started and where they finished but what I'm not sure is..."

"At what point Emma came in," Nicole finished for him.

"Yes, if you don’t mind me asking," he said.

"Well," Nicole started sitting down in the chair by Josh. "Would you be okay with the ‘Cliff’s Notes’ version or would you prefer the ‘Shakespearean Tragedy’ version?"

"The ‘Cliff’s Notes’ version will suffice," he told her.

"Well to make a long story short," she explained, first checking to make sure the child was still asleep, "Emma was the accidental yet joyful result of a birth-control mishap. I should say for Donna, she was the joyful result. Ben was another story. He didn’t want her to be born and Donna fought like a mother lioness to protect her and have her. Eventually Ben told Donna she could have the baby if she gave her up for adoption. And when Emma was born, instead of giving her up, Donna asked our grandmother to take custody of her so she could still be a mother to her. Mena did and the rest is pretty self-explanatory."

"What about Ben?" Josh asked his voice laced with contempt for the man.

"He doesn’t know Donna kept her," Nicole told him cautiously. "He thinks Donna really gave her up. To be honest, the rest of us didn't do much to dissuade that notion. But believe me, Emma’s much better off without that ass in her life." She gave him a tiny half smile. "I just wish she didn’t have to grow up without a father."

"Well," said Josh seriously, while rubbing the child’s back, as she seemed to be awakening slowly "maybe now she won’t to."

White House Residence: That Evening

"That’s great, Leo," the President said into the phone. He was in the process of getting dressed for an important fundraiser, as was Abbey, who was in their bathroom. She had just returned from a campaign stop in Seattle and had only a moment to give her husband a kiss and affectionately call him a jackass before going to get ready.

"So when are they going do this? Are they sure it’s safe...All right, that’s fabulous.... Tell her family that their in my prayers...Leo, for God’s sakes man, I think at a time like this, their not going to care if the President of the United States is Catholic...Of course I knew you were only kidding just then...Well, anyways, I’ve got this thing now...Yes, I’m going to make sure my head is there and not elsewhere...Make sure Toby and Sam have the final draft of the Kansas City speech ready for tomorrow morning...All right, thank you Leo. Good-night."

"Was that Leo?" Abbey asked as she exited the bathroom in an elegant, sapphire evening gown with her hair styled into a fashionable bun. She was going around the room looking for where she had put her shoes.

"No," Jed told her as hung up the phone, "it was actually an elderly Chinese woman living in Miami whose been reading tea leaves for me to determine how much time I should waste campaigning in Florida before the election."

"So many attractive, intelligent men in the universe and I get stuck with you," Abbey told him sarcastically. "So what did Leo-Chang want?"

"He was calling to tell me they found a match for Donna," he told her happily. "She’s going to have the transplant tomorrow."

"Oh that’s wonderful," Abbey sighed relieved. "I was so worried that they weren’t going to find a match in time." She went over to Jed and gave him a loving kiss.

"What was that for?" Jed asked, when she pulled back.

"I don’t know," Abbey shrugged. "Just felt like it I guess." She went off back in search of her high heels. "So how’d they get it?"

"I’m sorry?"

"The bone marrow," Abbey asked, coming out of the closet, shoes finally on her feet. "Where’d it come from?"

Jed closed his eyes and turned to face her slowly. "I didn’t have this conversation with you, did I? I just deluded myself into thinking I did."

"What conversation?" she questioned.

"Well, you’re not going to believe this," Jed told her, going to get his suit coat. "But the donor is Donna’s daughter."

Abbey stopped putting on her earrings and looked at Jed like he had grown a second head. "What?" she asked disbelievingly. "What daughter?"

"The daughter she had right before she joined the campaign and didn’t tell anyone about, except for her family," Jed clarified.

"Donna has a daughter?" Abbey mimicked shocked. "My God. How old is she?"

Jed thought for a second. "I think Leo said she was almost five years old. She must have only been a few months or so when Donna joined."

"What’s her name?"

"Emma," he answered her. "According to CJ, she looks just like Donna."

"My God," Abbey repeated. "How did Josh take it?"

"Well that’s the strange part."

"As if nothing else that’s happened in the past few weeks has been normal?" Abbey asked incredulously.

"Well from what Leo told me," he continued, ignoring her, "Josh has had a most unusual reaction."

"He went insane?" she asked dryly, wrapping a shawl around her shoulders

"Yes but not in the way you think. My sources tell me the kid's got Josh wrapped around her little finger three times over."

Abbey pinned him down with a humorous glare. "What sources do you have?"

"I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, Lovebug, but we happen to be living in the most visited and secure home in the country and it isn’t because the real estate agent got us a great deal on the place," he snarked, gesturing around the room. "What sources do I have?" he scoffed.

"But seriously," Abbey continued, "Josh is all right with everything?"

"Let’s put it this way," Jed told her, going over to take her arm as they left the room. "If things keep going the way they’re going with Josh and Donna, I have it on good authority to believe that we will be attending a wedding in the Rose Garden this time next year."

"You are a meddling gossip, Mr. Bartlet," she teased, going down the hallway to meet the waiting agents.

"I prefer the term ‘hopeless romantic’, Ms. Barrington," he gave her back, as they exited the White House into the waiting limo.

GWU: 7:30 PM That Evening

"So did you’re dinner taste good, sweetie?" Mena asked her great-grandchild who was sitting next to her. She and Emma were sharing dinner with Nicole, T.J., Lily, and Josh in the hospital cafeteria. The five of them were trying to come up with a way to tell Emma about her mother in a way she’d understand but nothing had seemed right. It seemed they were stuck in a never-ending state of limbo.

"It was okay," Emma shrugged, crinkling her face slightly. "It would’ve been better with the little hot dogs cut up." All the adults smiled at her indulgently. She figured it was her perfect opportunity to get something she’d been waiting for since she got here. "Can we go see Mommy now?"

"Uh, maybe in a little while, Walnut," Lily tried stalling her, exchanging glances with the others. "First, why don’t we..."

"No!" Emma screeched abruptly. The other four looked at her, surprised by her tone. "I wanna see my mommy right now!"

"Emma," T.J. said gently. "Please listen..."

"Why can’t I see Mommy?" Emma said her voice changing from one of anger to one laced with unshed tears. "Is there something wrong with her?" Then another, even more disturbing thought entered her young mind. "Does she not wanna see me?" Emma asked timidly, tears following slowly down her cheeks.

All of the adults looked at each other, their collective hearts breaking into a million pieces at seeing the pain etched on this child’s face. They knew that had to tell her right then, no matter what words they used. She needed to know.

"Emma Antonia," Mena said, using her full name to get her to realize how serious the situation was, "we need to tell you something." Emma looked at her beloved nana with her wide blue eyes and listened carefully, wiping the small tears from her eyes with her chubby little hands. "You’re mommy is very sick right now. That’s why we’re all here and why you haven’t been able to see her yet. It is not, I repeat not, because she doesn't want to see you."

"Sick, like she has a belly bug?" Emma asked plaintively, thinking that that was the only kind of sick there was. "The doctor can give her medicine for that, can’t he?"

"No, my precious, she doesn’t have a belly bug," Mena answered her, turning her chin up to look at back at her. "She’s very, very sick right now. That’s why we’re all here in the hospital, to make sure the doctors make her all better."

Emma looked at all of them carefully before asking, "Well how do the doctors make her better?"

"Actually," Nicole said, clearing her throat, glancing at the adults to make sure they were okay with her taking the initiative, "They need some help with that, with making Mommy better. They need something very special that only a few people have. And they found out you’re the only one of anyone here who has that, so you get to be the one to help them."

"Really?" Emma replied, her eyes lighting up excitedly. "I get to help make Mommy better? How?"

"Uh, well," Lily started, trying to think of a way to explain the procedure to Emma without scaring her. "The doctors need to take something from you and give it to Mommy. That’ll make her better."

"What do they need? I’ll give them whatever they need for Mommy," Emma stated, without a hint of trepidation in her voice.

"That is very good of you, kiddo," T.J. told her, bending and giving her a kiss on her forehead. "The thing is, to get what they need, it’s inside your body. So they have to do something to you that’s going to hurt a little bit."

"How?" inquired Emma, her bravery suddenly replaced by little flutters of nervousness in her stomach.

"Well, they’re going to use a needle to take something called marrow out of your body," explained T.J., trying not to use big words Emma wouldn’t understand. "They’re going to take the marrow from you and give it to your mummy. When she gets that, the doctors say she should get better. But the cool thing is," trying to cheer her up just a little, "is that they’re going to be doing this while your asleep, so you don’t feel a thing while they do it. You’ll just be a little sore when you wake up, like that time you hurt your head during soccer."

"When do I got to do this?" Emma squeaked out.

"Tomorrow," Nicole told her, trying to sound positive, "so we have to hurry up and finish eating so we can get you to bed, missy."

"Oh," the little girl stated. She started playing with the ends of her pigtailed hair, not really looking at anyone. None of them knew whether this was good or not. They thought she would have questions but maybe since she didn’t, it meant she understood everything. Or maybe it meant she was too scared to articulate her fears. "I’m tired," she suddenly announced. "Is it okay if I go to sleep now?"

"Well, we’re almost done eating, sweetie," Mena responded, motioning to everyone's half-empty plates. "I’ll take you up then."

"But I’m tired now," Emma complained, putting on her best whining pout.

"I can take her," Josh told them standing up, finally speaking out after remaining silent through the conversation. "I'm full anyways."

"Are you sure?" T.J. asked, getting up as well and eyeing him. "I can do it, you probably have more important places to be right now than here," his dislike of Josh not hedging one bit in past few days, no matter how well Josh had treated Emma or anyone else in the family.

"Tomasso," Mena said sternly, rising up to look him straight in the eye. "Please try to remember your manners in the company of young ladies such as us," she said while indicating with her head towards Emma, who was seemingly unaware of her uncle’s dislike for her newest hero. T.J., mollified, sat back down. "Thank you, Joshua," she said politely, turning towards we he stood with her great-granddaughter at his side. "You won’t have any problems tucking her in?"

"Nah, we’ll be fine," he assured her, putting on his suit coat. "Won’t we, Emma?" he asked, reaching down to tickle her stomach a little bit. The girl exploded in a fit of giggles.

"All right, my sweetheart, goodnight," Mena said, bending down to kiss the girl on her cheek and give her a quick hug. "You put on the jammies I left out for you, go right to bed, and shut your eyes real tight, understand?"

"Yes, Nana," the girl answered, already going over to say goodnight to her aunt and her godmother. "Goodnight, Aunt Nicole, goodnight Lily."

"Goodnight, honey," Nicole told her giving her a quick hug.

"Sleep well, Walnut," Lily replied, kissing Emma while Nicole was hugging her.

"Goodnight, Uncle T.J.," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Oh, goodnight, kiddo," he told her, rocking her back and forth a little. "I love you."

"Love you, too," she told him, letting go and reaching out for Josh’s hand

"Goodnight, everyone," Josh told them giving them a wave. "I’m gonna take off after I get her to bed. I’ll be back early tomorrow." They all acknowledged this with a nod and the pair left the cafeteria and headed to the elevators. When they got onboard, they were the only two in the car and Josh pressed the button for their floor. Emma, on the other hand, stood up on her tiptoes to press the button that she suspected was the floor her mother was while Josh wasn’t looking.

"Emma what are you doing?" Josh asked her when he noticed a second later.

"I wanna see my mommy," she stated simply.

"I know you do," Josh said crouching down on one knee to get to eye level with her. "But we have to get you to bed right now."

"Will I get to see her in the morning?" Emma whined softly.

"I.... I don’t know," Josh shrugged, feeling helpless.

"Then why can’t I see her now?" the child countered.

"Mommy’s sleeping right now," Josh told her, rationalizing to himself that he wasn’t really lying to the child. Technically, Donna actually was asleep although it was a sleep no one knew if she’d wake from.

"I’ll be real quiet," Emma promised. "I won’t say a word to her or make any noise. I just wanna see her."

Josh’s resolve was crumbling. He knew he’d promised Donna’s family that he’d let them handle things with Emma but Josh felt a love and a loyalty for her that told his brain that he owed Emma this. If things tomorrow didn’t go as planned, Emma might never get the chance to say goodbye and if anyone knew the pain of not being able to say goodbye to a loved one, it was Josh. The elevator bell dinged and the doors opened to reveal them to be on the floor of the ICU. Emma looked up to Josh with wide, hopeful eyes until he took her hand and led her off the car.

"Just for a few minutes," he instructed her. "And you have to be on your best behavior." She nodded her compliance and he walked her down the dark hallway towards Donna’s room.

"Excuse me, Josh?" he heard a familiar voice ask him. He stopped and turned to see Michael Flynn, standing at the admit desk looking at him and Emma. "What’s going on?"

"Do you ever leave this place or do you just like live in your office?" Josh joked, trying to distract the doctor. The frown on Dr. Flynn's face made Josh conclude it had not been successful. So he tried honesty. "I was just going to take Emma to see her mommy real quick before she goes to bed," he stated, praying the doctor would understand. "Since she hasn’t seen her yet and she won’t be able to tomorrow. That’s all right, isn’t?"

The doctor looked at him for a moment before his eyes settled on the girl in front of him. She gave him a small smile, as she recognized him as the man her nana had been talking with a lot lately.

"Hi," she said quietly. "My name is Emma."

"I know," the doctor said to her kindly. "My name is Dr. Flynn. I’m treating your mommy."

"You’re the one that’s gonna make her all better?" she asked in awe.

"I'm going to try but you’re gonna help me out, right?"

"You betcha," she answered with a firm nod of her head. "Can I go see my Mommy now?"

"Well," he started sternly, "it’s against the rules for visitors to be here this late and even more so when the visitors barely come up to my waist." Emma looked crestfallen. "But," he continued, "I think perhaps, on this one occasion, we can make an exception. You have to promise not to tell anyone though, Miss Emma, I have a reputation to maintain as the meanest old doctor in this hospital." She giggled at him and he put the files he had in his hands back on the desk. "Why don’t I bring you down there personally?"

"Okay!" Emma said, before Josh could answer, practically bouncing in her shoes.

"But before we go down there," he said, motioning for them to sit down on one of the small, plastic chairs against the wall, "I need to explain some things to you, Emma." The group turned to sit down and on seeing there were only two chairs, Josh pulled Emma into his lap and settled her there, a gesture not lost on Dr. Flynn, who gave him an approving smile over Emma’s head.

"Now Emma," the doctor started seriously looking her in the eye. "You’re mommy is real sick right now. Did your great-grandmother explain that to you?" She nodded her head thoughtfully. "Good. Did she tell what was going to happen tomorrow?" Again, she nodded. "Even better. Do you have any questions about tomorrow, anything you want to ask me?"

Emma bit her lip and looked like she was in deep thought for a second before responding, "Can you make my Nana give me a big bowl of peppermint ice cream when I wake up tomorrow?"

"Peppermint ice cream?" Michael laughed along with Josh. "Peppermint ice cream. Why yes, I believe I can but you have to share some with me. Deal?" he asked, still smiling and sticking out his hand.

"Deal," agreed Emma, giving his hand a firm shake.

"So you’re okay with what’s gonna happen tomorrow?" the doctor asked, just trying to be sure that Emma understood what was gonna happen.

"Yep," she told them solemnly. "I just want Mommy to be better."

"That’s what we all want," the doctor assured her. "I want to talk to you about your mommy for a minute and what you’re going to see when you go in there."

"Josh told me she was sleeping," she said, turning her head back to look at him.

"And he’s right, your mommy is sleeping," he explained. "But since she’s so sick, we had to do some things to her to make sure she was okay while she was asleep."

"Like what?" Emma asked curiously.

"Well, the big thing is we had to put a tube her mouth to make sure she was breathing okay while she’s asleep," he told her honestly. "There are also some tubes in arms to give her medicine and some machines in the room that tell us doctors how she’s doing. Now none of these things hurt her at all, they just look a little scary." He paused for a breath. "Another thing is, because Mommy's so sick, we can't have any yucky germs get to her because they could make her sicker. Do you know what germs are?"

She nodded. "There the things that make Nana make me wash my hands like, a hundred thousanty times a day," she complained, crinkling her face.

"Yep," Dr. Flynn answered. "So in order to keep the germs out, whoever goes in Mommy's room has to wear a special gown, gloves, and mask to make sure the germs on them don't get to your mother. Do you understand?"

"I think so," Emma said squinting her eyes like she was concentrating. "Will Mommy wake up if I talk to her?"

"No, sweetheart, she won't" the doctor admitted. "But that’s only because she’s in a very deep sleep. Haven’t you ever been so asleep that nothing in the whole world woke you up?"

"Uh-huh," she told them both. "One time, I was taking a nap on the porch swing and these big dogs got into a big fight on the front lawn, right in front of me, and they were barking real loud but I didn’t wake up at all. Nana said that meant I had a good disposition. Uncle T.J. said that just meant I was abnoromalel," she finished, struggling a bit with the word ‘abnormal’. 

"Well it’s just like that for Mommy," Dr. Flynn assured her. "Do you still want to go see her?" She nodded her head so vigorously that Dr. Flynn was almost afraid she’d end up snapping her neck. "Then let's go, shall we?" The group got up and headed down towards the desk, where Dr. Flynn fetched them all some blue hospital gowns, gloves, and face masks. Once everyone was ready, they headed back to Donna’s room. When they got there, Dr. Flynn grabbed her chart from the door slot and Josh reached for Emma’s hand. He opened the door and the three of them stepped inside.

"Mommy?" Emma whispered, when she saw the figure on the bed. Donna was still in a hospital gown covered with to the waist with a blanket. Her arms rested at her sides, her blonde hair billowed out over the pillow, and her eyes were closed. She almost looked like she really was just sleeping, except for the breathing tube down her throat, her second in three weeks. Emma looked stunned by her appearance and even Josh felt his heart clench painfully when he saw Donna, as it had every time he’d been in that room. Only Dr. Flynn seemed nonplused by the site in front of him but Josh knew it came from years and years of seeing this, not indifference.

"That’s my mommy?" Emma asked quietly, as if she still couldn’t believe it.

"Yeah," Josh told her, "that’s your mommy. I know it looks bad but she can’t feel anything. Remember what we talked about a couple of minutes ago."

"Can I...?" she started, pointing to a spot next to the bed’s headboard.

"Sure," Josh nodded. "It’s okay, you won’t hurt her. Just be real careful around all these machines."

Emma nodded and began walking forward to her mother. When she got there, she examined Donna for a few minutes, looking over her face and upper body, almost trying to convince herself that it was really Mommy. After a little while she seemed convinced and looked at Donna's hand, which had an I.V. tube in it. Emma tentatively reached her little hand up near the bed and hesitated when she got to Donna's hand.

"Its fine," Dr. Flynn assured her. "You won't hurt at all if you hold her hand. In fact, she'll probably know it's you."

"How?" Emma asked, still not taking her mother's hand.

"Well, when people are asleep like your mommy," Michael began, going over to stand beside the child, "they can't wake up but doctors have discovered that when they're asleep like this, they can still sometimes hear and feel the things around them. And it helps them when they hear or feel the people they the most around them."

"They do?" Emma asked, fascinated. She slowly reached out and grasped her mother's hand in her own small one.

"They do," Dr. Flynn confirmed.

"So if I talk to Mommy while she's sleeping," Emma said, trying to connect the dots, "she might hear me, even if she doesn't wake up?"

"I think we've got a future MD on our hands," Dr. Flynn grinned at Josh. "Listen I have to go finish some work so I can be ready for tomorrow. Why don't we scoot out of here and get you to bed?"

"Just a couple more minutes?" she begged. "I just wanna talk to her for a little bit."

The doctor looked at his watch and then at Josh. "Five more minutes or so." He ordered quietly. "Then get her to bed before one of the nurses or Donna's family checks in."

"Sure," Josh promised.

"Well I will see you in the morning, young lady," Dr. Flynn bid Emma a goodbye as she continued to stare at the still figure of her mother. "Goodnight, Josh," he told the man. As he walked by him, Michael gave him a small pat on the shoulder. He exited the room and left them in the room with the most important person in both their lives.

"Hi Mommy," the child said softly, as if she was almost afraid to disturb her mother. "It's me, Emma. I missed you so, so much, Mommy. It seemed like it was a really long time since I saw you. You still look really beau...beaut...pretty, even though everyone says you're real sick." She paused as if thinking of something else to say. "I drew a picture for you in preschool. Mrs. March said it was the most nicest picture she'd ever seen. I can bring it in here for you to put on your wall for when you wake up." She turned her head and saw Josh looking at her, a small smile gracing his face. "And guess what? I met Josh too. You were right, Mommy, he's really nice and funny, even if he and Uncle T.J. don't get along. But that's okay, 'cause Nana Mena likes him. She said if he wasn't head over heels for you and she was twenty years younger, she'd pounce on him like a tiger." Josh coughed a bit, quite surprised with the Moss family matriarch's little crush on him. "Josh?"

"Yeah?" he answered her.

"Do you think the doctors would mind if I tried something to help Mommy? I wouldn't have to touch her or anything bad like that, it's just something she does for me when I'm sick, so maybe..."

Josh hesitated for beat, trying to weigh his nervousness about what Emma had in mind against the hopeful look in her eyes. "Okay," he said cautiously. "What are you going to do?"

She didn't answer him, just climbed onto a chair that was near Donna's bed and kneeled on it. She took her mother's hand, while her other was ever so softly caressing the top of Donna's head, before she started singing in a small childlike voice.

Smile...

 Though your heart is aching.

Smile...

 Even though it's breaking.

When there are clouds,

In the sky you'll get by.

If you smile, through your fear and sorrow.

Smile and maybe tomorrow.

You'll see the sun come shining through

For you.

Light...

Up your face with gladness.

Hide...

 Every trace of sadness.

Although a tear,

Maybe ever so near.

That's the time you must keep on trying.

Smile, what's the use of crying?

You'll find that life is still worthwhile,

If you just...

Smile.

As she finished, she leaned over to her mother's forehead and placed the gentlest kiss on it. She turned back to Josh, who was openly shedding quiet tears at the scene that had just played out in front of him. He came over to them and leaned down over Donna to place a lingering kiss on the same spot that Emma had. He then turned to the girl and bent down to place a kiss on her forehead. She reached up with her arms and circled them around his neck. He in turn wrapped his arms around her back as her legs curled around his waist. Josh hoisted Emma off the chair and held her close to him. She laid her head on his shoulder and let out a big yawn.

"Come on," he whispered, his voice still gruff with emotion. "Let's get you to bed. Big day tomorrow."

"Okay," she whispered back, her eyes already succumbing to exhaustion. "Goodnight, Mommy. Feel better..." she trailed off as she gave into sleep.

"Yeah," Josh replied, even though he knew she couldn't her him. "We're gonna make Mommy better." He paused and looked from Donna's pale face to the heavens that gazed at him from the windows. "Please God, if you're out there don't make a liar out of me," he begged anxiously. He swallowed back his remaining tears and left the room to put Donna's daughter, the girl he loved like his own daughter, into her bed.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

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