The National Library - A West Wing Fanfiction Archive

One by One, The Bricks Fall

by: Ginny

Category: Post-ep to The Black Vera Wang
Pairing: Josh/Donna
Characters: Josh and Donna
Rating: YTEEN

Note to self...bringing Donna a gift back when I go away is a good idea, bringing cured meat, apparently is not. Still, I can't believe she gave away the moose meat to some intern. Hey, Sam brought back moose stuff too for Ginger and Bonnie, they seemed to appreciate it. Ok, so at least he shopped for his gifts, I sort of re-gifted the moose meat. What can I say? My back was killing me and I couldn't sleep, I took a sleeping pill and overslept. So I didn't have a chance to go shopping. And exactly what was I supposed to bring back from Finland? I have trouble buying stuff for Donna. It's hard to find stuff for the love of your life who doesn't know she's the love of your life and who probably loves you but can't show it for fear of Republican retaliation in the form of, let's just say, someone like Ann Stark.

I smile every time I think about our conversation when I got back. "My man"...I could get used to that. A few of the bricks in the wall that seems to separate us lately have started to crumble. Seems like our banter is back in full force. And the part about missing her, obviously true. Although I didn't have a whole lot of time to miss her. Between traveling, meetings, prep work, a few odd hours of sleep and talking to her on the phone twice a day, I didn't have a lot of free time.

Oh no.

I just checked E-bay. My gift went for $210. A little low if you ask me. I mean, the box had hand woven Lapland ribbons. The winners E-bay ID is DDCOS, which means I really need to find my checkbook and write out a check for $210 to the Deputy-Deputy Chief of Staff. But at the moment I think only the Deputy-Deputy Chief of Staff has a clue where my checkbook is.

And speaking of Donna here she is.

"Hey, you still here?" she asks as she sits in my visitors chair and puts her feet on the desk.

"Apparently so. Where's my checkbook?"

"Bottom left hand drawer. I just balanced it; try not to screw anything up. I thought you were going home early?"

"It is early." I say with a groan as I lean over to reach into the drawer and manage twist my back, sending a pain shooting down my leg. I jump to my feet to try and walk it off.

"It's 10 at night, that's not early. You ok?" she asks as she comes around the desk.

"Just great." I mutter as I limp around rubbing my back with one hand and holding the checkbook with the other.

"Come here." she says.

And as if it were the most natural thing in the world she tugs on my shirt tail, which is already hanging halfway out, and pulls it out of my pants so she can rub my back for me. Now, it's not as exciting as it sounds, my undershirt is still tucked in. But it is nice anyway. This is something that hasn't happened in months.

Spontaneous physical contact.

I try not to be too obvious as I lean into her touch. We take a few steps until we're standing in front of the window, looking out. We say nothing. At the same time we check the reflection in the window and see that my office door is wide open. I think we both feel a mixture of disappointment and relief.

Disappointment that this is going no further and relief because it can't, not right now.

After a few more minutes Donna tugs on my belt to get me to back up and sit on the desk. We sit side by side still looking out the window. She kicks off her shoes that are dangling from her feet. I reach to rub my back, she notices and moves my hand away so she can do it herself.

I know, not the smoothest move ever, but it's getting late and remember I missed some classes along the way.

"So, you missed me." I say as matter of factly as I can. I was going for light hearted but think I missed by a mile when I hear Donna inhale sharply.

"Yeah, and not just while you were in Finland. Cause, you know, with you gone I got the whole weekend off." she starts, trying to go for teasing but missing by the same mile. "I miss you, I miss...us." she says quietly.

"Yeah, me too. You think things are back to...uh, normal?"

"Joshua, the last thing the two of us will ever be is normal." she smirks. "But I think we're back to...us. What ever that is."

I nod as I think back to the conversation we had after the State of the Union. The one about how there really is no definition of what we are, we're just...us, nothing more, nothing less.

"So you still missed me most at night, right?" I tease as I lean over and nudge her with my shoulder.

"Oh yeah, I was forced to get 6 straight hours sleep without the phone ringing or someone ringing my door bell." she smirks. "By the way, thank you for not calling me constantly while you were away."

"Uh, you're welcome."

She gives me a look. "Sam took your phone and told you not to bother me, didn't he?"

"No," I say indignantly as I can. "It was Leo." I whisper.

She grins and moves her hand from where it's been making lazy circles over my lower back to wrap it around my shoulders. More bricks begin to fall as she leans her head against my shoulder and I kiss the top of her head. Just as natural as can be. Which both frightens me and makes me feel good.

I see some movement in the reflection the window that causes me to look up. I see Leo in the doorway. Donna's eyes must be closed cause she doesn't notice. He motions for me to stay where I am. He drops a file on the table by the door and leaves with a smile.

"What?" mumbles Donna tiredly.

"Nothing. Why don't you go home?"

"Yeah. I just have to run some stuff over to Ginger. You leaving too?"

"I think so. I just have one thing left to do." I say as I slide off the desk and reach for a pen.

"I'll be back in a minute" she calls over her shoulder as she walks barefooted out into the bullpen.

I write out the check and search through my bag for something. A few people have been trying to convince me that carrying a backpack after the age of 40 is ridiculous so I got this other bag. I hate it, I want the backpack. Anyway, in the bottom of the side pocket is an envelope with what I am looking for in it. I stick the check in the envelope, put her name on the front and seal it. I walk out to toss it on Donna's desk.

I pack my bag and shut down the computer with a feeling of contentment, a feeling of hope, a feeling of complete and utter.... sappiness.

I hear Donna whistling through the bullpen and I stand in the doorway to my office. She smiles as she sees the envelope.

"Open it." I mouth.

She opens it and she gets the look like she had when I gave her the book on skiing. I don't quite get it, after all the things in the envelope are not that exciting. She pulls out the check and I can tell she contemplating ripping it up, but her small salary wins out and she shoves it in her pocket. She's about to toss the envelope in the trash.

"Hey, there's more in there." I say as I cross the hall and lean against her filing cabinet.

She opens it again and her face breaks out into a big grin. "Stamps from Finland." she says as she starts to tear up.

You see, ever since the stamp thing last year I try to remember to bring her a few stamps back from where ever I go with the President. Over the last 4 or 5 months I haven't brought any back, for reasons I'm not sure of and probably wouldn't be very proud of.

"Yeah, I thought it was time to restart the tradition." I say as I can feel my cheeks get red.

She leans over and kissed me softly on the cheek. "Thank you."

Donna grabs her tote bag and I put my hand against the small of her back to guide her out of the bullpen.

"So, I've been thinking," she starts with a smile. "I wasn't crazy about the moose meat part but the box was nice. I think I'll keep it."

"Well, it does have hand woven Lapland ribbon hinges."

"Yeah. So I suppose I could put the stamps in it, a certain book on skiing, maybe even an ID badge." she says quietly as she moves ever so slightly away from me, replacing a brick in the wall between us that we just can't seem to completely break through.

Maybe sometime soon. But for now, things are good. Despite some bricks that are still in our way we're almost back to being...us.

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