The National Library - A West Wing Fanfiction Archive

Here We Sit

by: Ginny

Category: Post-ep to 18th and Potomac
Pairing: Josh/Donna
Characters: Josh and Donna
Rating: YTEEN

12:15 AM White House Residence

Here we sit.

Three hours ago we were to start a meeting that would determine our future. Instead we sit here, mourning one of our own. One who's future was determined by a drunk driver.

Sometimes life just sucks...big time.

We tried to start the meeting at 9:00. It lasted all of about 8 minutes before the President stopped.

So, here we sit.

He told us all to go home. We all made an effort to get up and leave. We didn't get very far. We managed to move as a group from the living room of the residence to the sitting area outside the Presidential bedroom. And here we stopped. And here we remain.

I'm at one end of a couch with my feet on a coffee table. Donna is asleep with her head in my lap. She's been that way for almost an hour and a half. I can't explain how comforting it is to have her this close. To feel her hand curled around my hip. To have my fingers running through her blond hair. To not have anyone give our position a second thought. This is just who we are and how we are.

Toby's at the other end of my couch, chewing an unlit cigar and drinking bourbon, no ice. He's awake but hasn't said anything in a long time. He's just staring into space and running a hand over his bald head.

CJ is sitting on the floor in front of Toby, leaning back against his legs. She's hovering somewhere between asleep and awake, clutching a pillow to her chest.

Sam is literally sprawled out on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, sound asleep. Mrs. Bartlet threw a blanket over him a while ago. Ainsley came up after we ended the private meeting. She's sitting cross-legged next to him rubbing his back with one hand and propping her head up with the other. For once she is quiet.

Leo and Margaret are on the couch by the window. She's sitting with her feet tucked under her, absently flipping through a magazine that's propped up against Leo's stocking feet. A while ago he fell asleep and she pulled his legs up onto the couch and his feet into her lap to make him more comfortable. He's snoring softly, getting some much overdue sleep.

Carol, Ginger and Bonnie are squeezed onto the love seat, holding each other and crying softly.

Charlie is with Zoey in her room.

The First Lady took the President in to the bedroom about an hour ago. He was in shock and I could tell she was really beginning to worry about him. We all are worried about him.

Donna's is starting to wake up. She's staring up at me, but doesn't really see me.

"Shhhhhhhh, go back to sleep"

I stroke her forehead as she drifts back off to sleep.

So here we sit.

Looking back over the events of the early evening I realize that if it weren't for the fact that we are sitting here in mourning I would be truly pissed at Toby now. He told Donna, I couldn't believe it.

He told her because I didn't?

I didn't think I was allowed to tell her yet. If I had known I was free to tell her I would have told her, the first free moment I had. But Toby beat me to it.

Donna's not dumb, she knew something was up. She could see it in my eyes. She's been hovering and fussing over me for the past week. I've caught her watching me more closely, making sure I eat, bringing me an occasional cup of coffee and generally being sweet. She knew not to ask what was wrong but offered her support anyway. She gave me a few much appreciated hugs over the past few days.

And I should have given her one today. The look on her face when she spoke that single word to me...

Sagittarius.

My heart sank.

She knew and I wasn't the one to tell her. She didn't ask why, she didn't seem hurt that she heard from somebody other than me. She just seemed...sad.

I asked her if she was okay. That was fine but I should have gotten up out of my chair and hugged her.

Two hours later I was waiting in my office for her to come back from the Mess with dinner for both of us when Charlie appeared in my doorway. He only stayed a minute. He left when we spotted Donna walking through the bullpen. By the time she walked in my office I was staring out the window. I was trying to control my sobs and the shaking of my shoulders. Without a word she put the food on my desk and wrapped her arms around me from behind, holding me tight.

She, of course, assumed that the reason for my tears was something I wasn't free to discuss with her. I turned to face her, told her the news and then held her tight. After a few minutes I managed to steer us both to the couch. We stayed in each other's arms for over an hour, until the food was cold and 9:00 was fast approaching.

After splashing cold water on our faces we headed with the others to the residence. To a meeting that would be short and to the point. A meeting that would shape our future. A meeting that never happened.

And now, here we sit, 11 of us. With matching sets of red, puffy eyes and tear streaked faces. Surrounded by tissues, beer bottles and cookie crumbs. In the middle of the coffee table sits an empty crystal cookie jar. Leo and the President took it off of Mrs. Landingham's desk and brought it up here with them.

It sat there on the table in the living room, untouched, as we tried to have our meeting.

When the meeting wasn't going anywhere the President took off the lid with shaking hands. He handed us each a cookie. As if by some stroke of fate there were just enough cookies to go around.

We held up the cookies in a silent toast to our beloved Mrs. Landingham.

The cookie jar moved with us as we left the living room. Leo put it down on the coffee table in front of me when it was clear we weren't ready to leave just yet. So here it sits...empty, like our hearts...sparkling in the moonlight like Mrs. Landingham's eyes sparkled when she was doing what she did best, mothering us all.

THE END

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