The National Library - A West Wing Fanfiction Archive

Not Quite Asleep

by: Ginny

Category: Post-ep to Two Cathedrals
Pairing: Josh/Donna
Characters: Josh and Donna
Rating: YTEEN

It's 2 in the morning and I'm still at the office.

I've had at least one too many beers.

I am exhausted beyond belief, yet wide awake.

It's answer A.

Oh yeah, did I mention the fact that I am curled up on my couch with my head in Donna's lap?

Well, I am.

Life is good.

Even with all the bad things that have happened over the past few weeks I feel like my life is heading in the right direction.

Maybe that's just the beer talking.

Or maybe I'm just enjoying the fact that my assistant's fingers are running through my hair and caressing my cheek at this very moment.

I think she's under the impression I'm asleep. Maybe the fact that my eyes are closed, and I haven't moved or talked in at least half an hour led her to believe I am out cold. I'm enjoying the moment too much to let her know I'm awake.

Yes, I am afraid that if she knew I was awake she would stop running her fingers through my hair. So I'll just do my best to be quiet and still. I know, those aren't two of my strong points.

Anyway.

Today was one of the most gut wrenching days of my life. A perpetual roller coaster ride. Like the day my dad died and Bartlet won the Illinois primary, or the day Joanie died or the day I was shot.

I went from the heart wrenching funeral.

To a meeting to discuss strategy (when we didn't even know which strategy we needed to discuss)

To a few hours of relative peace.

To a strained conversation with Donna, where both of us were trying to hold our emotions in check.

To the phone call from Leo telling us it was answer B.

To a short but life altering meeting.

Back to my office; where Donna was waiting with a cup of tea, open arms and a box of tissues. She held me while silent tears fell. Tears for the President, tears for an uncertain future, tears for Mrs. Landingham I had so carefully choked back during the funeral, tears for the fact that through these crazed days I didn't realize the anniversary of the shooting was upon us. I'm sure Donna did, but she said nothing. She just silently and without any great pretense took care of me. She made sure I ate, slept and changed my clothes when needed. She knew when to leave me alone, when to stay, when to talk and when to just "be" with me. And for that I will be eternally grateful.

As we got ready for the press conference I was torn. Torn between needing to be with her and wanting to just be with the senior staff. I knew none of the other staff members were bringing their assistants in the limo. But then there was the fact that she's more than my assistant. She's my...God, I don't even know. She saw my confusion and told me she would go with Margaret. As much as I wanted to be with her when we heard the public announcement, I was glad to be on the other side of the room. I was sure I was going to break down.

And then it happened.

Somewhere between late afternoon and 9 tonight the President changed his mind.

"I will be seeking re-election"

With those words I jumped up, screamed and scanned the room for Donna. I saw her push through the crowd to make her way over to me. She through herself in my arms and hugged me tightly. I remember running my fingers through her hair and kissing her.

No, it wasn't like that.

We weren't making out in the middle of the press conference. Everyone was hugging and kissing. I think I even kissed Toby.

We stood side by side as we watched the rest of the press conference; our fingers entwined. I dragged her into the limo when it was over, even though she tried to leave with Margaret.

We all went back to the White House. Wet, tired and happier than we had been in weeks. We gathered in Toby's office, the same place we had met earlier in the day to talk strategy. We managed to pull together an impressive array of liquor in a short time. And we managed to go through most of it in a short time too.

I think Toby is still in there with CJ.

Sam and Ainsley were last seen heading for the basement.

The President is in the residence with Leo.

The rest of the support staff headed for home about an hour ago.

Donna and I came back here. I had every intention of grabbing my things and letting her drive me home.

Yes, I know what you're thinking, and tuck me in.

But she flopped down on the couch and put her feet up on the chair before I could grab my backpack.

What was I to do? Yank her up and force her to drive me home? I don't think so.

So I joined her on the couch. She kissed my cheek and settled me down with my head in her lap. I got very comfortable, very quickly, which is why she thinks I'm sleeping.

We've been here for about an hour, I guess. My left hand is tucked under my head so I can't see my watch. The time is probably wrong anyway.

She is still running her fingers through my hair. Such a simple gesture, yet it means the world to me. I don't know how I would have gotten through the past year without her. I hope she knows what she's done for me, how much every little gesture has meant.

God, I'm getting entirely too sappy now. Must have something to do with that sensitive system I've been accused of having. OK, so I really do have a sensitive system, but we don't need to spread that around.

So for now, I'll just relax under the gentle touch of Donnatella Moss, able assistant, finder of my *things*, keeper of my schedule, guardian of my sensitive system, my bantering partner and yes, owner of my heart.

She sighs deeply and lets out a shaky breath. I feel her tears fall onto my cheek. My heart breaks at the sound of her crying but something stops me from speaking, from moving...

She lifts up my right hand and presses it to her lips, planting a kiss across my knuckles. She puts my hand back down on her knee and gives it a squeeze as she whispers...

"I love you, Joshua"

My eyes pop open and before I can say a word my breath catches in my throat and a single tear escapes, sliding down my cheek.

"I love you too, Donna" I think to myself as I finally allow my body to give into its need for sleep.

THE END

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