Calling The Question

by: Evelyn

Donna stood outside the door trying to gather her nerve. Finally, she took a deep breath and knocked.

After a moment, Josh opened the door and the two of them stared at each other awkwardly, without saying a word.

Finally he said quietly, “You came back.”

“The President called my mother,” Donna walked into the apartment. She glanced at the suitcase in the hall.

“Going somewhere?” she asked, one eyebrow arched.

“To Madison, Wisconsin,” Josh said. “My plane leaves in two hours.”

“Oh,” Donna said simply and smiled warmly. She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Josh sat on a chair across from her. They didn't look at each other and words seemed to fail them both.

“Donna, I’m sorry,” Josh began, but Donna interrupted him.

“The President offered me a job as his executive assistant. I start on Monday.”

Josh’s eyes widened and then Donna saw it happen again. That same mask of steel that she’d seen the night she told Josh about Cliff took control of his features and she could feel the wall going up between them again.

“Things have been crazy between us over the last six months,” Donna said.

“I thought they were getting better,” Josh argued. “I thought we were almost back to normal, you know, with bantering and...other stuff.”

“Maybe we were almost back to where we used to be, but that’s not enough for me anymore,” Donna tried to explain.

“Oh,” was all Josh could muster and they were both silent again.

Finally, Donna broke the quiet. “Were you ever going to ask me out on a date?”

Josh looked up, startled. “We can’t date, Donna. I’m your boss, you’re my assistant. It wouldn’t look right,” he said quickly.

“That’s what I thought,” Donna answered. “Same old dance,” and she started to rise.

Josh suddenly put out his hand to stop her. The mask slipped and his face had the vulnerable look of a young boy. He took a deep breath and said in a whisper, “I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” Donna asked gently, putting her face just inches away from Josh.

But he shook his head, pulled back from Donna, and wouldn’t answer.

After a few more moments of silence, Donna began, “I need to take control of my life, Josh.”

“Seems like you’ve already done that,” Josh commented bitterly.

“That’s the reason things exploded last night,” Donna continued.

“That’s your excuse for why you left me again,” Josh said acidly.

Donna blanched at the word 'again', but then said, softly, “I’m going to tell you what I want and ask you to be honest and tell me what you want.”

“Seems to me that I’m being asked after the decision’s already been made,” he retorted, looking down at the floor.

“So here it goes,” Donna continued on as if Josh hadn’t said anything. “Because you’re too precious to me to let this go without trying one last time.”

Josh looked up.

“I know you’re afraid, Josh. I know that you think I’ll leave, just like so many of the other people you’ve loved, but I won’t. Not if you don’t want me to go. Not if you don’t push me away. I love you, Joshua Lyman and I want to be able to tell you that without you freaking out. I want to be able to talk about having children together without you bolting from the room. I want to tell you my dreams and hopes for our future together without you shutting me out. I don’t have to be your assistant, Joshua. I don’t need a job to stay here with you.”

Josh sat there stunned and Donna wondered if she’d gone too far. But then she knew she really didn’t have a choice anymore.

“I’m calling the question, Josh. It’s a straight up or down vote for us.”

The moments ticked by and Donna could tell that Josh was struggling with himself. He stood up, walked to the window, and looked out.

His stomach was churning and his heart was pounding so hard that he was sure she could hear it across the room. She was asking too much of him. Didn’t she know that? Why couldn’t things stay the same?

But did he want them to stay the same? It was tortuous not to touch her. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever known. Everyday he fought the urges that tormented him - the desire to hold her, kiss her, make love to her all night and wake up with her in his arms in the morning.

Images of Donna flashed in his mind. Laughing with him as they chose the stamp; smiling at him across the desk when they worked late at night; reaching for his french fries as he batted her hand away; dancing with her at the inaugural ball; feeling her reassuring presence in his hospital room; taking him to the emergency room; holding him after his father died; teasing him when he announced the secret plan to fight inflation; bringing him coffee when he thought he would be fired; calming him when he thought he’d blown the big tobacco deal. He thought of her cheering for him, believing in him, and always loving him, even when he didn’t love himself.

Suddenly, he wasn’t scared anymore.

He turned, crossed back to Donna, and pulled her to stand next to him. He searched her eyes and caressed her cheek.

“I love you Donnatella Moss,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her close for a deep kiss. When they broke apart, they were breathless. They stared at each other and grinned. Donna leaned in to kiss him again. Keeping his arms around her, he reached for the phone and quickly dialed a now familiar number.

“Mrs. Moss, it’s Josh. I’d like to ask permission to marry your daughter, Donnatella.”

Chapters - 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Sequel - Like A Bad Penny

| << back | send feedback | The National Library |