Odyssey of Minds, pt 5: Josh POV

by: Peridot
Pairing(s): Josh/Donna
Category(s): Humour/Fluff/ Angst
Rating: YTEEN
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, et al
Summary: Josh and Donna's thoughts after each season 6-episode.
Spoiler: Freedonia
Written: 2/23/05

Alienation and nothingness - Josh's POV

The chicken?! She's arguing with the chicken?! I can't believe it! She's all flared up ... sigh ... How can someone look so amazing arguing with a chicken?!

I bet she knows this has my fingerprints all over it. I bet that's what set her off in the first place. I can't actually imagine Donna scolding anyone, besides me, the way she did that chicken.

She seems much more ... confident ... more comfortable in her own skin. I've actually never seen her this way before. I guess this short amount away from the White House has brought big changes to Donna.

Despite everything, I just can't help feeling proud of her. I guess she was right all along, as always….She wasn't growing in her job. I honestly thought I was trying to give her every opportunity I could. I mean, I really did. I let her go to Gaza ... well, we all know how well that turned out.

Sigh! I'm starting to feel that she made the right choice. To leave me. To go on with her career ... with her life. I guess that was her only choice. She would have never really known her full potential if she didn't do what she did. If she stayed with me, all she would only be is my sidekick ... contrary to what I had thought.

Am I a complete idiot not to have seen her complete potential? I have always known that she was smart and has such remarkable qualities that I admire immensely ... but I guess I didn't want to really, truly see it. Because that would mean she had no reason to be working as my assistant. Because that would mean that I'm the one who's holding her back.

I guess I knew that if I let her grow, she would definitely grow away from me. God, I'm such a selfish bastard. Look at her now! She's shining! I bet she's a star in the Russell campaign. I bet she's the one who convinced Russell to take up Matt's debate suggestion. I guess she brings in a little of me into their campaign.

How great would it be if we were working together on the same campaign? Of course when I say same campaign, I mean Santos's. How great would it be to actually have someone who really understands me working with me?

At this point I would sell my soul to actually be able to be myself with her for just a little while. Just a few minutes….which is like a whole lifetime less than what I used to have with her on a daily basis.

It's actually funny I say this as just a while ago I was thinking that I would sell my soul to actually never be able to see Amy again. I swear she has gotten so much more intolerable than she used to be. Every tiny being of me was wishing that she would just vanish into thin air. I can't believe I dated her ... more than once! I guess that's another self-deprecating aspect of myself ... pushing away anyone who truly cares for me while letting people like Amy in.

Why do I do this to myself? Why?! Just once ... just once I wish I could just say what I really feel ... If only I could ever figure that out.

Donna's POV: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 Josh's POV: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

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