Odyssey of Minds, pt 6: Donna POV

by: Ellen
Pairing(s): Josh/Donna
Category(s): Humour/Fluff/ Angst
Rating: YTEEN
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, et al
Summary: Josh and Donna's thoughts after each season 6-episode.
Spoiler: Drought Conditions
Written: 3/2/05

I want to go home. I want to go home and sit in my own comfy chair, sleep in my own bed. It's been ages since I did that. It's always from one hotel room to another. But not tonight, tonight I'll be able to go home. Well, if this function ever ends, that is. This is one of the longest parties I've ever had to attend. All night long I've done nothing but smile politely and talk to potential supporters for the campaign. I've had too much to drink and I have a crick in my neck, not to mention that my shoes are slowly killing me. But, nonetheless, the show must go on. More hands to shake and people to please. The last time I checked on our candidate, he was entertaining some senators with merry tales of the campaign. He was doing good, just talking about superficial things and not delving into huge political problems. Which is good, 'cause let's face it, this night is all about appearances and up until now he hasn't acted too idiotic, which was what I had somewhat feared. Seems my anxiety was not necessary. He is all over the place, shaking hands with the right people. Just like Will ... wait, where is Will? Oh, there he is and he's ... Oh my God, is that--? Well, I don't think Will is going to be of any help anymore; apparently there is something in Kate Harper's cleavage that is more interesting, considering the way he's eye-balling her bosom. The dirty little ... Wait a minute. This is excellent! Hopefully, he'll focus his attention on Kate from now on. I wouldn't mind them hooking up to produce off-spring as long as it keeps him from asking me out for any more dinner dates. I mean, I like him, but he is quite a bore when it's just me and him with no one else to entertain us there. He's really nothing like ... oh, there I go again. When will I be able to have a normal conversation with ... well, myself, without mentioning HIM!?!

Hmmm, now that I'm on the subject anyway ... he looks really good in that suit tonight. He's working the room with tons of confidence and ego. Only, it's not real. I'm sure that if you don't know him, you'll see a handsome, capable and egotistic politician who knows exactly what he's doing and is walking around as if he owns the place and the people in it. But when you know him as well as I do, you will see that something is wrong. His eyes don't have that fire and passion tonight. I was right about him. He has been on the edge for weeks now and I believe the frustration has finally been released today. He's feeling guilty about something, but I'm not sure what. I just wish I could speak to him like I used to. I want to know what's wrong and I want to help him through it. But, that's not what we do anymore. Now, we just politely nod and say hi and goodbye when we pass in the hall.

Although, I did have a few moments alone with him today. Right after I had pulled him into one of the maintenance closets. Oh, that doesn't sound too good, does it? I assure you, it was all quite innocent. It just seemed like a good idea at the time. I needed to talk to him without anyone overhearing us and it's not like we have an office anymore ... hmm, he ... it's not like he has an office anymore. I needed to speak to him because of something I had discovered about Senator Rafferty's new health plan. But, to be honest ... my mind stopped focusing on that problem the moment the closet door closed and he just uttered one short sentence that struck me to the core.

"Is our relationship about to change?"

The stupid moron. I could have done without that little remark. Isn't our relationship strained enough already? Why does he have to always say these hurtful ... yet, well intended things? Why can't he just shut up for a change? I know, I know, we are still talking about Josh Lyman, master in cracking lame jokes at the wrong moment. Anyway, I explained the problem and after that he was all business again. He thanked me for the info and took off ... God knows who he went to harass then.

I've got a feeling CJ knows more. I briefly talked to her earlier and she was acting very evasive about something. I had seen her talking to Toby and when I asked her where he was she just changed the subject by focusing my attention on one of the other guests. I really wish she hadn't. Because, there, talking to the President, stood Cliff Calley. Yes, the same one I used to date and who threatened to lock me up for concealing the truth. As for that one night I spent with him ... I've chosen to ignore it ever happened. I was lonely at the time. I loved a guy that wasn't interested in me ... yeah, what's new? I basically just wanted to wake up with someone next to me. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but when morning came and I realised that he was trying to gather his clothes and leave without waking me, I realised what a mistake it had been. Well, I was in a bad place and it happened, no need to delve into it any deeper. I have to admit I'm puzzled as to why he was there. CJ manoeuvred her way around the questions I asked about him. As an ex-Press Secretary, she excels at that. But the biggest irony of it all? She then proceeded to tell me that she was surprised that Cliff was a decent guy. According to her, he was smart, funny, witty, explosive and cocky ... much like Josh. And I probably would have agreed with her a few years ago. Because then, he was the man I actually slept with because he somewhat reminded me of the one I really wanted to be with. But now? Nah, it's like Josh always says ... there's nothing quite like the real thing.

And here I am, back to worrying about Josh Lyman and his bruised psyche. You know what's funny? It's funny how I am incapable of bringing order in the mess that once was my well-organised life. Yet, I'd rather spend my time thinking about his possible problems and obsessing about how haggard he looks. What does that tell you about me?

Yeah, I know ... pathetic, isn't it?

I've got it bad.

Donna's POV: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 Josh's POV: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

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