Wild Horses

by: Cara

Category: Romance, Jed/Abbey

Rating: CHILD

Summary: "I can't let that woman get away. She's my life."

I creep into the residence late; far too late. They kept me up arguing about some damn fool lobbyist who actually thinks he’s got a chance to get his issues on the table right now, of all times.

But now I’m home, taking off my shoes and jacket, and I watch her sleep. She always curls into a ball when she’s sleeping alone. I know, because I’ve watched it far too often. But it’s endearing to see, I can tell you. She’s in a ball, breathing softly. It’s like the world can be fended off with a pillow.

Things haven’t been easy lately, I know that. And part of the reason is that I’ve been a stubborn jackass. But part of the reason is that I don’t think I have the words to tell her how badly I want this. All Abbey sees is the risks. I think all I see is the gains.

But she should know this; she knows me. At least I hope she knows me.

I know she’s not being selfish, I think as I untie my tie. She just wants what’s best for me. But while I love Manchester, love our farm, I think a part of me would really die if I left this behind when I didn’t have to. I need to make a difference.

We’ve both said things we regret, I’m sure. Like tonight ... I should have closed my damned mouth the moment she said “You’re pissed at me!?” When she’s really mad she needs time and space. I didn’t give it to her. At the time I didn’t know that.

Why didn’t I know that?

I shrug into my pajamas and look back at my wife. God knows she’s stubborn, and she’s willful. But God knows I love her. And I don’t deserve her.

C.J. wonders if our marriage is in trouble. And maybe it is. But I know I can’t let Abbey get away, like I’ve secretly feared happening. It’s amazing how clear your perspective gets after a few nightmares. That woman is my life. And I somehow know we’ll get through all this.

Maybe she really will vote for me.

Grabbing a letterhead, I write all this down. Well, not in my own words. Something Zoey was playing upstairs ... I couldn’t help but listen. It says it all. And the thing really was pretty catchy.

Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted, I bought them for you
Graceless lady, you know who I am
You know I can't let you slide through my hands
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away

I’ve watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you’ve decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind ...
Wild horses couldn’t drag me away
Wild, wild horses couldn’t drag me away ...

I fold it once and put it in her briefcase. She’ll find it tomorrow.

I slide the covers up and crawl into bed next to Abbey. In moments I am asleep.

Sequel - I'll Stand By You

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