The Other Side

by: Brandy

Category/Pairing: Josh/Donna
Rating: TEEN
Spoilers: This is a post-ep to "Noel"

Donna watches Josh out of the corner of her eye as they walk away from the carolers in front of the White House. He seemed a little better after the day he had spent with Stanley. For that, she was glad. She was also glad she'd decided to speak to Leo when she had. Donna had gone to see him only the day before his blowup in the Oval office. Though she had stammered through the beginning of what she'd wanted to say, Leo had quickly put her at ease. At first it had almost felt like she was betraying Josh, but her concern for him far outweighed any other concern by that time. Josh had been going downhill for weeks now and he was headed for a crash. She had no idea that the crash would be his hand through his living room window, or just how much hed been holding in.

They turned the corner to where their cars were parked and Donna turned to Josh.

"Yours or mine?" she asked, tilting her head towards their respective cars.

Josh, who had been lost in thought, missed her indication toward the cars and focusing on her with a now puzzled expression asked,

"Yours or my what?"

"Car, silly. It doesnt make sense to drive separately to the hospital, since I am going with you." Donna explained, giving him one of her looks that indicated she knew he had been planning to go on his own, or not at all.

"You know, I'm perfectly capable of going to the doctors office and getting this taken care of. I see no need at all to go to the emergency room for such a little thing."

Josh said in his best lets be reasonable voice. He should have known better than to try that with Donna, who knew by heart every argumentative attitude he had at his disposal. She did have the grace not to visibly roll her eyes at him when she replied, though it was hard.

"Well, you didn't, or you already would have, so youre not. Youre just being a man." Donna said as she dug in her purse for her keys, ignoring the exasperated look on Josh's face.

"Where did you learn to talk like that? Or do you do it on purpose to mask the fact that you actually know you're making no sense whatsoever."

Josh said, watching as she produced her keys from the depths of her purse with a look of triumph.

"Josh, stop trying to change the subject. Now, lets get going and get this over with."

Donna said jangling her keys I front of him and turning in the direction of her car.

"Donna..." Josh started and Donna whirled around.

"Josh, you can't wait and go to the doctors office. It's Christmas Eve. Doctors wont be in their offices until after Christmas at the earliest. By then you could have a serious infection or I don't know, but you need to go!"

Donna exclaimed, starting to lose her patience.

"I understand that...it's just...I just don't want..." Josh countered, quietly trailing off. Donnas eyes widened as she began to understand and she could feel them begin to sting with tears that she knew had nothing to do with the cold night.

"You don't want to be in the emergency room tonight." Donna finished for him, her voice so soft and filled with emotion that he would have had a hard time hearing her if he hadnt been standing so close.

"No,I can safely say that's the last place I feel like being tonight." Josh said, trying for a smile at the end and coming off with something close. He was trying to lighten the mood a little. He didnt like seeing Donna with tears brimming in her eyes. Especially when he knew it was on his account. He watched as she took a deep breath and forced her emotions in check. When she looked into his eyes again there was a slight smile on her face and a lets be sensible look in her eyes.

"Well, you can't go on with your hand like that... I mean honestly Josh. Where on earth did you learn to put on a bandage, anyway? Didnt you do first aid in scouts or anything?" Donna said, taking his injured hand and looking at it disparagingly.

"Nope, mustve missed that one." Josh replied, finally feeling a little better, now that they had gotten past the emergency room thing. "I was pretty good at playing doctor with the little red-head around the corner though." He added with a pretty good version of his familiar mischievous smile.

Donna couldnt refrain from rolling her eyes at him that time; in fact she didnt even try.

"Yeah, I'll bet. Now, if you can't go to the doctor and you don't want to go to the hospital, what do you suggest we do about your hand?" Donna asked pointedly. Meanwhile Josh noticed that she was still holding his injured hand. Not that he minded... It was nice the way she showed her concern for people through touch. He was also trying not to think about just how much he enjoyed her touching him. So, to keep his mind off disturbing thoughts about feelings and Donna, he fell back on that old reliable; bantering and teasing.

"Well, gee... I dont know Donna. I guess I could let you play doctor on me..." Josh said with a wicked grin. Donna arched her brow and gave him one of her oh please, get over yourself looks, but inside she was rejoicing. Oh my gosh! I never thought Id see that look, that classic Josh Lyman look again. I'd give anything in the world to see him look this happy and carefree, and yes full of himself all the time. Donna pushed away those errant thoughts concerning Josh. The ones that made her wish for something she had no business wishing for. Josh was her boss, she reminded herself sternly. Allowing herself to indulge in feelings over Josh would just complicate things and might ruin everything.

"Okay Josh. I guess its like everything else... if I want it done right I have to do it myself. Lets go to my place. I think I have everything we need in my first-aid kit." Donna said, letting go of his hand and walking over to the driver side of her car. Suddenly she realized Josh wasnt following along. She turned and saw him standing in the exact spot shed left him. He had that same look on his face that he'd gotten the time he had to fill in at the press briefing for C.J when she had her emergency root canal. His expression said I started something that I have no idea how to stop.... It was really kind of funny in a way and Donna was tempted to just let him stand there and squirm a little longer, but then something in her expression made him do some mental catch-up and then the expression was replaced with a sheepish look.

"Donna you dont have to... I mean dont you have plans tonight? Its Christmas Eve and I know your familys in Minnesota but..."

"No Josh, I was going to stop in and visit with a neighbor of mine, but they've got four kids and I probably wouldnt be doing anything more glamorous than helping to assemble their twins new bikes and drinking egg nog. So, really nothing I cant get out of."

"Really, you're sure? I mean I don't want to impose or..." Josh trailed off. He really didn't want to go home tonight. Not back to the boarded up window and... Josh didn't want to start thinking about all that again. He would really rather be with Donna than almost anywhere else- who was he kidding. There was no almost to it.

"Okay. If you're really sure I'm not taking you away from anything..." Josh said walking over to the passenger side of her car, his hand on the door handle.

"Josh get in! I said it was fine didn't I. Good grief, you'd think you were scared I was going to stick you with needles or torture you or something!" Donna exclaimed in exasperation, getting behind the wheel of the car and starting the engine. Josh slid in on his side and couldn't resist smiling at her.

"Donna, you really do enjoy bossing me around, don't you?" He said as Donna fiddled with the heater in her car, trying to get warm. She didn't even look at him when she replied.

"Yes Josh, I seek to control you. Remember?"

"Oh yeah... I forgot about that." Josh said, smiling at the memory.

Donna is juggling her purse, plus a tote bag that contained a bunch of assorted junk she had been meaning to bring home for a while, and on top of that, a box that held an assortment of gifts and goodies that had been exchanged by the staff. She was juggling this collection of stuff while trying to unlock the door to her apartment. Of course the lock was sticking and making the whole process more of a bother than it needed to be. Josh was leaning against the doorframe in an extremely lame posture of exaggerated patience. After a few moments of watching her struggle with the keys, Josh reached over, took them out of her hand and opened the door. She took the keys back and ignoring his smug look, walked inside.

Josh stood just inside the door and watched her move about the apartment. All of the sudden he couldnt imagine what hed been thinking to allow himself to come here with her. And where had that playing doctor comment come from back in the parking lot, Josh thought. What kind of bonehead remark was that to make to somebody like Donna? Suddenly he realized that she was talking to him...actually she had been talking since she walked inside, but she had just asked him a question that seemed to require some sort of reply on his part.

"I'm sorry...what?"

"I said are you going to stand there all night like you're guarding the door or are you coming in?"

"Oh... yeah. I was just looking around your apartment. Its nice."

Donna gave him a slightly puzzled look, "Josh, youve seen my apartment before."

"Yeah, I know. But we were always rushing off to a thing and I...well I never noticed before. I mean, I'm not wild about the location, but you fixed it up really nice." Josh trailed off, noticing that he was messing up what had started out as a perfectly nice comment.

"Not everybody can afford to live in Georgetown, Josh." Donna commented, dryly. " Come on in and sit down. I'm going to set this stuff in my bedroom and get that first aid kit." Donna said, grabbing the box and walking down the hallway.

Josh walked into the living room and settled back on the couch. It was one of those big, comfortable pillowy things that just encourage ten kind of laziness. Pretty soon he had laid his head back and closed his eyes, feeling the tension and turmoil of the day start to roll away. It had helped to talk to Stanley, to start to face things, but Josh knew he had just opened a door and looked inside today. Josh was smart enough to know that he was by no means on the other side of all of this stuff yet.

He was still mentally thumbing through all of what was in front of him when he felt the cushion beside him give slightly and a tender touch on his bandaged hand. Slowly Josh opened his eyes and saw Donna sitting there next to him. She was regarding him with the most tender expression on her face and Josh couldnt help but react to it. Without thinking he reached up with the hand that she wasn't holding and brushed her cheek ever-so-slightly with his fingertips. He watched, mesmerized as her eyes became a kaleidoscope of emotions, but she didn't pull away from his touch and he took that as a positive sign. Well, he would have if he'd been thinking. This was beyond thinking; it was just just that moment, singular and separate from everything that had come before it and everything that would come after it.

Donna looked away first. She had to. In that one moment she saw something in Joshs eyes that she had waited a long time to see and she knew in her heart that this was absolutely the wrong time to even contemplate doing anything about it. He was about as emotionally raw as a person could be and still be standing. Oh, he didnt show it. At least not to the average person. Josh was good, too good at only letting people see what he wanted them to see and not one bit more. He even had her fooled for a while. Not completely of course, but for far too long.

When Donna looked away, Josh felt a pang of something...disappointment, loss he wasnt sure. He was sorry that the moment was over, but even as he let the hand that had touched her so gently fall away, he knew that that moment wasnt completely gone. Just postponed, maybe.

"Let me see exactly what sort of mess you've made of this bandage." Donna said, breaking the silence between them. When she took his hand this time it was just as gently, but the feel was different. This was the Donnatella who had come up with the famous rules when he was recuperating from the shooting. This was the woman who knew what he was supposed to be doing before he did. Who arranged his life and kept him on track.

"Oh Joshua! It's worse than I thought. I bet you didnt put any sort of medicine on this before you wrapped it. Don't you know better than that! I was just reading this article about infections and blood diseases and ... What may I ask is so amusing?" Donna asked, suddenly noticing that he wasn't looking contrite or even embarrassed. He was actually grinning at her, like some great big goof.

"Not a thing Donna...just amused at the consistency of life." Josh cryptically replied.

Donna gave him one of her looks and then set about swiftly and efficiently fixing the mess hed made of bandaging his hand.

Josh sat back and while one part of his brain was listening to Donnas running dialogue as she worked, another part of was recognizing the perfect sense of something Leo had told him earlier. Leo had said that Donna was the one to figure out something was wrong, and although Leo didnt say it, she had known just the right person to go to. Josh had been surprised at the time- though he shouldnt have. What was that thing she had said... she was tuned to him. Could anything be more true?

Josh sat back on the couch, alone in the room after Donna finished her Florence Nightingale routine. He noticed that at some point Donna had turned on the lights on the Christmas tree in the corner of the living room. He hadn't noticed them before, but now as he watched them twinkle he thought how nice they were. In spite of the fact that Christmas was not really his holiday and hed never been as diligent as he should be about observing the Jewish holidays, he really did like the spirit of the holidays. The gathering together, the sharing and the way everything took on a kind of magical hue. Hed never really noticed it before he started seeing it through Donnas eyes, but now...so much was different when you looked at things through Donnas eyes.

Donna was in her bedroom. Just standing there. She knew she should go back in the living room and offer Josh something to drink or say something to him, or something. She just couldnt make herself do it just yet. All she could think about was that look in his eyes when hed touched her face. And lets talk about that touch, folks! Her cheek felt like it was burning just from the memory of it. How could a man touch her in such an innocent, gentle way and have it affect her like that? Well, the truth was if it was just any man it wouldnt have been like that. Donna knew this for a fact. A few months ago shed gone out with this really handsome, charming guy. He was funny and witty...(well, not as witty as Josh, but she'd never tell him that) Anyway, Mr.Bright/Handsome/Charming had taken her out to a very nice restaurant and to a play that she'd been dying to see. At the end of the evening he'd brought her to her door and given her a very nice kiss. By purely technical standards he was a great kisser, but... all her ridiculously undisciplined brain could think was, 'It's not Josh...'

So there you are, great kiss from a guy who, by anyones standards, would be considered a great catch and ... nothing. Josh, on the other hand, innocently touches her cheek and WOW... its like someone set off fireworks inside her. Now all she had to do was figure out how to walk into the living room, look at this man who she adored and make words come out of her mouth like a normal person.

Okay, here we go. Donna said to herself as she walked down the hallway and into the living room.

Josh was in the same spot on the sofa, more relaxed than she'd seen him in weeks, just watching the Christmas tree lights. She captured the sight of him there and filed it away in her memory. Seeing Josh quiet and not in motion at the same time was an extremely rare thing. After those weeks in the hospital Donna never thought shed want to see him quiet and still at the same time again, but this was different. This was nice.

At that moment Josh noticed Donna standing there and smiled. It was a great thing to see Josh smile. This was not that hundred watt, I just conquered the world, so bring me my spoils smile. It was a nice content, relaxed smile and that was good enough for Donna. She was thinking, okay this is my old Josh. I can relate and act normal and not like a lovesick teenager to this Josh. Of course, he picked that moment to open his mouth and set her spinning again.

"Hey Donna.. are you hungry?"

Perfectly innocent words but it was the way he said it. It was that dreamy, relaxed, sexy way he said it. Okay, Donna thought, maybe its only sexy in my demented brain. But still... oh yeah, Im hungry all right. Hungry for your touch, hungry for all the things I've dreamed of doing to you and with you. Oh yeah, you could say I was hungry.

Josh watched her for the longest time and he had the strangest feeling that he knew what was going through her mind. Granted, that was strange in and of itself. It was hard enough to know what she was talking about half the time, much less what was going on in that head of hers, Josh admitted. Still it was almost like she was hearing things that he had never admitted out loud to her. Well he thought I cant indulge in that right now... as much as Id like to

"Donna, did you hear me? I could really go for some good Chinese food. You wanna go see if we can find a place around here? My treat."

Inwardly Donna was kicking herself. You really are a lovesick teenager, Donnatella Moss. You should really getting a tighter control over your imagination.

When she was done mentally chastising herself, Donna made herself answer.

"Its Christmas Eve, Josh." Donna said, stating the obvious.

"Yeah, but good Chinese food is multi-occasional." Josh said with a grin.

"I doubt we'll even be able to find anything open...its starting to get late." Donna said, walking into the room and sitting down beside Josh. He leaned closer and with a smug grin replied.

"Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a Lyman."

Donna was actually not that surprised that Josh found what he considered an acceptable, if not really good Chinese restaurant not too far from Donnas apartment. The only problem was they were getting ready to close any minute. That however did not deter Josh. He simply laid on the classic Lyman charm that he used whenever he wanted to get his way. Donna was almost glad that Josh had a challenge, albeit minor to get his juices flowing. Donna had often thought that Josh was only fully alive when he was playing his own particular game of acquisition. It really didn't matter what it was- from trying to get a senator to vote away from party lines or trying to get her to bring him coffee. The senators he usually had no problem with. The coffee... well, he was still losing that battle. Never underestimate the stubbornness of a Moss, Donna thought with a smile.

Well, the Lyman charm worked again, but only half way. They would get their food, but it would have to be take-out. This didnt seem to bother Josh too much though. But he turned to Donna to check with her.

"You mind if we take it back to your place?"

"No, not at all." Donna replied, thinking to herself that she actually preferred it. At her place she could have Josh all to herself. Josh smiled at her and for a fleeting second Donna had this really paranoid notion that he knew exactly why she agreed. She quickly brushed the notion away because if Josh really could read her mind, she really would be in trouble.

Back at Donnas apartment they had settled back into the living room, stretched out on her couch with the cartons of Chinese food spread out before them on the coffee table. Donna had found a really good bottle of wine that shed been saving and poured some for both of them. Josh had told her that they couldn't eat off plates since the only way to really enjoy good Chinese take out was to trade back and forth and eat right out of the cartons. Donna gave him one of her Josh, get real! looks at this bizarre theory of epicurean etiquette, but since he had been successful at finding dinner for them, she went along with it. Besides, everything smelled heavenly!

Josh grabbed the carton with the Chinese dumplings and began to spear one out of the carton with his chopsticks. He bit into it and made really appreciative noises, closing his eyes in pleasure. Donna watched him out of the corner of her eye, beginning to blush as she had a sudden thought of what he would sound like in the throes of a completely different kind of pleasure. Josh noticed her just then and being Josh he completely misread her.

"Want some?"

He speared another dumpling and leaned towards her bringing it to her mouth.

"Go ahead... I said were supposed to share." Josh said, waiting for her to take a bite. After a second she did. For all the money in the world she couldn't have said whether it was good, bad or whatever. Josh was looking at her still, sort of expectantly and then with a sort of amused half smile. Oh, please don't let him be amused at me. Please dont let him be able to read what was just going through my mind an think its funny! Donnas mind was screaming at her and just then Josh reached up and brushed the corner of her mouth with his thumb. The amused smile was still there, but it was beginning to be replaced by something else. For just a moment it was as though they were finally on the same emotional page, and he leaned closer still. Joshs lips were so close and were about to touch Donnas when suddenly the phone rang.

It was as if theyd both been doused with cold water or woken suddenly from a dream. They pulled apart and Donna, after taking a moment to take a breath, turned and picked up the phone on the table behind her.

"H'lo... yes, Merry Christmas to you too Sam. Uh... what? Oh yeah, Josh is right here. Do you want to talk to him? No, No problem...Here he is." Donna turned back to Josh, not quite looking him in the eye and said, Sam wants to talk to you. Handing him the phone, she quickly left the room.

Josh sat there for a moment with the phone in his hand, just looking after Donna, who had disappeared into the kitchen. Damn! Sam and his lousy timing!

"What do you want Sam?" Josh said, his voice brimming with impatience.

"Uh...hey Josh I was just... I called your place and no one answered and ... say, I'm not calling at a bad time- am I?"

"Sam how did you ever graduate law school?" Josh asked and then jumped in before he could answer. "Is there a reason you were tracking me down like a fugitive on Christmas Eve?" Josh asked impatiently, his mind more on why Donna had not come back into the living room. He knew it wasn't because she was respecting the privacy of his phone call. Yeah, like thats ever happened.

"What were you saying again...?" Josh asked, realizing that Sam had been in the middle of saying something that made no sense because he hadn't been listening to the first part.

"Well, I was saying that a bunch of us are having a little impromptu poker game and I thought maybe you'd like to come over and join in... but if youre busy or something..." Sam trailed off leaving Josh to wonder what sort of thoughts Sam had dancing around in his head. He weighed how he was going to answer based on what Sam was going to take from it. Stalling for time, he asked,

"Who's there?"

"Just the usual... Toby, C.J, Mallory..."

"Mallory's there? I thought she was still pissed at you?" Josh asked, jumping on this, the perfect distraction.

"Yeah, she's here. She says she's not pissed really, not anymore. I think shes lying- a little anyway. Ever since she got here shes been in the corner with C.J and I think... well, I know it sounds dumb, but I think they're setting me up or something." Sam finished off, sounding kind of nervous. Josh couldn't help but break out in a grin.

"You say you're playing poker?" Josh asked, seeing exactly what Mallory was plotting, and with C.Js help no less.

"Yeah, You wanna come over? I mean I know its not very festive or whatever, but it should be fun." Sam replied, trying to sound convincing.

"Oh, I'm sure it will be. But, as much as I'd like to watch you get fleeced by a pair of scheming women, I think Ill just stay here for awhile." Josh replied, smiling at the thought of what kind of paranoia that was going to trigger in Sam.

"Oh...okay. Well, I guess I'll go. Everyone's kinda anxious to get the game going. We all miss you Josh..." Sam said wondering if he should go on or if Josh knew all the other things he meant.

"Yeah, I know buddy... but things'll be back to normal soon. Tell everybody hi for me okay." Josh said, feeling sorry hed snapped at Sam when he answered the phone.

"Sure, no problem." Sam replied and Josh could hear the relief in his voice.

"And Sam..."

"Yeah, Josh?"

"Hold on to your wallet. Bye." Josh said, hanging up with a wide grin.

Josh got up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen in search of Donna. He found her over by the counter fiddling with the coffee maker. She had her back to him and didnt turn when he walked in. She was definitely avoiding looking at him and he had to wonder why. Josh walked over to where she stood and laid his hand on her shoulder. Still she didn't turn.

"Donna?" Josh said, practically whispering her name. Finally she turned and he could see that there was a tear running down her cheek. Without thinking he reached up and touched the tear with the tip of his finger,

"Did I put that there?" Josh asked softly. Donna looked down, first shaking her head, then nodding.

"Not for the first time either, I bet." Josh observed, his voice getting husky and choked with emotion at the thought that hed been the one to make Donnatella cry. The problem was he didn't know whether he would make it better or worse by revealing what was in his heart.

"Donna, I..." Josh began with no idea what was going to come out next. He had no chance to continue because Donna turned to him with a bright smile pasted on her face and asked him about Sams call.

"What did Sam want?"

"He wanted me to come over and play poker with him, C.J, Toby and Mallory." Josh answered, seeing what was coming even before she said it.

"You should go... I mean Sams your best friend and you should be with your best friend or your family on the holidays." Donna said, giving her attention to the coffee maker again. Apparently she couldnt manage the fake cheery voice and the fake cheery smile at the same time anymore, Josh thought.

"I already am." Josh replied.

Donna didnt say anything for a minute and then looked up at him with that funny little puzzled expression she got sometimes.

"Already am what?"

"I already am spending the holidays with my best friend." Josh stated simply.

"Josh, Sam is your best friend and unless hes hiding in the closet or something I don't think he's here." Donna replied with a look of impatience and moved to walk past him into the living room. Josh didn't let her pass though. He caught her arm and pulling her close he looked intently in her eyes.

"Contrary to what you may think, Sam is not my best friend. He's a great guy and I've known him a long time and I love him like a brother... But, he is not my best friend. You are." Josh said refusing to let her look away, making sure she understood what he was saying. He saw a smile dawn in her eyes, even though she tried to shrug off his statement.

"Dont be silly Josh... You're just saying that because we spend so much time together and I help you and make things easy for you. You kind of depend on me, but somebody else could do the same stuff I do. If they could learn to put up with you..." Donna said, putting in that last bit in a desperate attempt to lighten the mood. Josh, you yutz! I dont want to be your best friend, your buddy, your pal. God, the next thing you know he'll say " I love you like a sister!'

"Don't forget, you refuse to bring me coffee." Josh said and Donna gave him a half-smile at their tired old joke.

Josh put his hand on her cheek, on the place where the tear had fallen, stroking her cheek gently.

"But because youre my best friend, I overlook that obvious character flaw in your position as my assistant. Also you look so cute when you're giving me all the reasons why you're not bringing me coffee."

"Josh..." Donna started to make a comment about the cute thing but he ignored her and continued.

"You take care of me and you argue with me and you keep me on track and when I get in trouble... when I get in trouble you lead me out of it."

"Josh, I don't need or deserve your gratitude. I just do... what I do. It's no big thing." Donna said trying desperately to get off this topic. She wanted a lot more from her relationship with Josh than friendship and gratitude and if he didn't feel any more than that then she would just as soon not discuss their relationship.

"It's an incredibly big thing to me. You are my best friend Donna and that's the reason... Well, I've wanted to tell you... I was afraid to mess up... Damn, I'm really messing this up!" Josh sighed loudly and looked at Donna once more, cupping the sides of her face and looking into those beautiful eyes of hers that were a that moment regarding him with wonder and anticipation. All trace of humor was gone from his voice when he spoke again.

"You are my best friend, but you're a lot more than that too... Thats why I've never told you how... I've never done this." With that Josh leaned forward and kissed her. It was an intense kiss, but gentle all the same and when Josh felt Donna return it, he let his hands fall from her face and circled her with his arms. He held her, even after his lips had moved away from hers, and he had buried his face in the long, silky hair of hers and breathed in the scent that was so singularly Donnatella Moss. Josh didn't want to break contact with her, he didn't want the moment to end and he was afraid that if he looked into her eyes that it would. He was afraid hed stepped over some line, broken some rule that would forever alter the relationship between them, and not in a good way. He was afraid of having really screwed things up.

Finally locating his courage, Josh pulled away slightly and looked into Donnas eyes. It was like seeing the first sunrise of your life.

"Josh..." Donna whispered, putting her fingertips to her lips, touching the place where Joshs lips had been just moments before.

All the endearments in the world couldn't compare with the way Donna said his name, especially in that way.

"Donna, that doesn't tell me whether you're glad I did that or whether you wanna smack me." Josh said.

Donna gave him this 'could you possibly be more dense look' and then taking Joshs face in her hands she kissed him with enough passion and purpose to rock him back on his heels. When she drew away she looked him in the eyes, communicating everything that was in her heart. That had been in her heart for so long. When she saw that he had finally gotten the idea, she reached behind him and smacked the back of his head.

"Oww! Why'd you do that?" Josh asked, even though he was still wearing this big, goofy, happy grin.

"You know." Donna said, leaning into his arms and playing with those errant locks of hair that always seemed to fall just over his collar. Funny, she thought, how different it was to touch him now that she knew it was allowed. Josh, in turn, was doing the same thing and having the same realization and he really could not stop smiling. I have Donna in my arms and its okay... Josh just marveled at that thought.

"No I don't and how you know I don't is cause I asked you why?" Josh said, tracing the line of her jaw with his fingers, then placing a kiss on the corner of her mouth where she had the cutest little dimple.

Donna couldnt help but smile at his comment. It was really bizarre how the more things change; the more they stay the same. They could be standing there, caressing each other, having just walked through the door of discovery of each other and still the banter and teasing was there.

"Gee Josh, it really is a shocker that you've stayed single so long." Donna said sarcastically. It didnt pay to let Joshs ego get out of hand. She didnt stop caressing him though.

"How can you kiss me like that, then insult me. I'll never understand women." Josh said with an amused smile, running his hands up and down Donnas back.

"Yet another shocker." Donna replied breathlessly.

"Could I concede my male stupidity so that you can tell me why, so then I can kiss you again?" Josh asked, caressing her back and seeing that she was enjoying it almost as much as he was.

"Or you could just kiss me." Donna replied, taking the initiative. She still couldnt believe she was standing in her kitchen, kissing Josh. I guess I havent gotten too old for Santa to grant my wishes, after all. Donna thought to herself as Josh kissed her and held her in those strong yet gentle arms of his.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" Josh asked with a smile.

"Nope" she replied, then getting that serious crinkle in her brow she asked, "Josh, is this really okay? I mean maybe we should step back and think about everything and..."

Josh puts his fingers to her lips and amazingly she stopped mid-sentence. Maybe this new turn in their relationship was going to have even more advantages than even he imagined Josh thought with a wicked inner smile.

"Donna did you allow me to kiss you because you felt sorry for me, or because you thought I was too emotionally fragile to handle rejection?" Josh asked intently.

"Of course not Josh! But..." Donna exclaimed, but Josh continued.

"Has this thing between us been building since way before I got shot or any of this other stuff?" Josh inquired, in full lawyer/politician mode.

"I can only speak for myself Josh." Donna replied.

"Thats all I'm asking Donnatella." Josh stated, allowing a small smile to curve his lips.

"Then yes." Donna said, sighing. It really made no sense at this point to deny she had been pining for him for quite some time. She was a little surprised however when she heard him say "Me too."

"Well, what took you so long then!" Donna asked, marveling at the oddities of their relationship.

"Well, even Fulbright scholars can be a little slow sometimes." Josh conceded with a grin.

"A little slow Josh..." Donna gave him Josh an arched look.

"Okay, maybe more than a little... but you love me anyway, despite my faults." Josh countered, a little too smugly for Donnas taste.

"I do? When did I say that?" Donna asked with wide eyes. It never pays for a man to be too sure of himself let them stew a little.

Donna almost couldnt help but laugh out loud at the surprised look in Joshs eyes. She did love him, but she wasn't about to admit it just yet.

"But just now... I mean you kissed me and... You do love me... Dont you?" Josh almost choked the question.

Donna almost folded at that moment, but she had promised herself that she wasn't about to make any declarations until she had some indication from Josh that he was going to return the sentiment. Actually though, when she thought about it, if that look of vulnerability on Joshs face was any indication then she had her proof.

"Maybe. " Donna replied mischievously.

"Donnatella Moss, do you or do you not love me?" Josh asked, obviously not seeing the love and mischief in her eyes.

"I could ask you the same question." Donna countered.

"You mean you dont know already?" Josh asked incredulously.

"Well Josh, I didn't get seven-sixty verbal on my SATs but I am smart enough to know whether or not someone has told me they love me." Donna replied with that Josh, youre an idiot! look. With that Donna turned and walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room where she feigned newfound interest in the view from her living room window. She was silently counting to see just how long it would take Josh to approach her. Shed gotten all the way to ten before she felt his hands on her shoulders. Slowly he turned her around and kissed her gently on the lips. Before the kiss could deepen though, he pulled away slightly and looked into her eyes and with a voice brimming with emotion said the one thing that Donna had been waiting forever to hear.

"Donnatella Moss, I want you to know that without any reservation of any kind that I love you. I love you for all the reasons that I said before when I told you that you are my best friend. I love you because you make me remember how much fun life can be and because you drive me nuts with arcane tidbits of knowledge that are culled from the weirdest places..."

"You never did learn how to quit when you were ahead did you?" Donna interjected with exasperation. She was smiling though, so Josh felt safe enough to ask,

"When was I ahead?" Josh asked, smiling back.

"Before you started whining about my passing on valuable information to brighten and enliven your day." Donna said with the clear message that she was giving him one more chance to do it right.

"How about if I just say I love you."

"Much better Josh, I'm proud of you." Donna said and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Don't you have anything to say to me?" Josh asked expectantly.

"What?" Donna asked, feigning wide-eyed innocence with great success.

"Donnatella!" Josh exclaimed.

"Oh okay... Yeah I love you too." She admitted in a oh by the way fashion.

"You can't say it any better than that?" Josh asked, his voice brimming with laughter. Life with Donna would never be boring, Josh thought. That is if she didnt drive him nuts first.

"Oh, you mean like you and the whining?"

"I don't whine Donnatella and I want my words."

"I said it already. Honestly Josh..." Donna couldnt finish whatever she was going to say because at that moment Josh took her in his arms and kissed her breathless. When his lips left hers he looked deep in her eyes and saw all the love that hed ever hoped to see and more. He was further rewarded when he heard Donna sigh, " I love you too Josh" and laid her head on his shoulder. Josh was in the midst of thinking how he had finally figured out how to get his way with Donna when he heard her say.

"But, don't think that kissing me to shut me up thing is going to work all the time. I'm no pushover, you know." Donna declared snuggling into his chest and listening to his heartbeat. That heart that she knew belonged to her, she thought with a smile.

"Whatever you say Donna." Josh replied, wisely choosing to let her believe what she wanted to believe.

To think I came so close to never having this, Josh thought. How lucky can one man be to have the friends he had. Friends that cared enough to see him in trouble and lead him out the other side. How lucky to have your best friend and the woman you love rolled into one beautiful, funny, smart, infuriating woman. Maybe it was more than he deserved, but then again, maybe not.

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