Still Standing

by: Allison

Character(s): Josh, Donna
Pairing(s): Josh/Donna
Category(s): Romance
Rating: TEEN
Summary: Sequel to Great Expectations

"Donna! I feel like I haven't talked to you in days."

Donna looked up from the papers she was photocopying and smiled at Margaret. "You haven't. We've been busy."

Margaret made a face. "No kidding. I don't think Leo left at all last night, and Toby's been in and out all day."

Donna turned her back to open the copier and change the originals. "In and out having meetings, or hiding from C.J.?"

"Anybody's guess?"

They exchanged looks and grinned. "Seriously though," Donna said, biting her lip, "have you seen C.J. today?"

Margaret nodded. "She looks - well, she looks like yesterday was rough."

"Yesterday was rough." Donna opened the copier again. "What astonishes me is that Josh managed to stay out of all of it. Well, except for the fire the other night. But yesterday he was the least of everyone's problems."

"I hear you can't quite say the same," Margaret teased.

"Oh, God, don't." Donna's face reddened. "I've gotten it from everybody else."

Margaret startled her by laying a hand on her shoulder. "How are you doing? Are you okay?"

Donna turned and gave her a confused look. "Yeah, sure. I mean, it was embarrassing and I am going to kill my boss, but it wasn't that bad."

"I don't mean that." Margaret had abandoned all pretense of having a work-related reason to be there. "I mean just generally."

"Generally?" Donna shrugged. "I'm fine."

The other woman frowned, leaning against the wall. "I was just kind of worried about you before New Year's and all..."

"Margaret, I'm fine. Go back to worrying about Leo, would you?"

"Donna, what's going on with you and Josh?"

Despite her current state of denial and the non-progress of their relationship, what came immediately to Donna's mind was the night they had spent together and a deep flush spread over her face. "Between me and Josh?" she bluffed, cursing her fair skin. "Why would you ask that?"

"Why are you blushing?" Margaret returned, looking closely at her.

"Nothing's going on," Donna replied, turning back to the copy machine and trying to hide her burning face.

"Donna..." Margaret leaned against the copier, effectively keeping Donna from distracting herself. "On New Year's -"

"Nothing happened!" Donna interrupted, panic beginning to set in.

Margaret looked taken aback. "I didn't think it did."

"Oh."

Her friend seemed to reconsider. "Did it?"

"No!" Donna pushed hair impatiently behind her ears. "So what were you going to -"

"I was going to ask if it was about him."

"If what was about him?"

"Your - problem." Margaret shifted uncomfortably. "Were you upset that night because of him?"

Donna finally faced her and stopped fidgeting. "Not really."

"But some?"

She nodded reluctantly. "Some."

Margaret looked around to make sure no one was within earshot before she asked, "Donna, do you - have feelings for him?"

Donna's eyes widened innocently. "For Josh? Please."

"Donna," Margaret said sternly.

"Okay, I mean, I like him of course," she amended. "And I care about him as my boss - like you and Leo - well, you know. But I don't have *feelings* feelings for him."

"You're sure?"

Donna's heart pounded hard in her chest. *Am I?* "I'm sure," she replied with a certainty she didn't feel.

Margaret nodded and turned to leave, but changed her mind and paused for a moment. "You know, he was really worried about you."

"That would be a switch," Donna cracked, trying to pretend she didn't know exactly what Margaret was referring to.

"I just think -" Margaret paused as if making up her mind. "I just think if there is - something - you should tell him."

"There isn't something."

"Okay."

Watching Margaret head back toward Leo's office, Donna rested her head against the wall and mindlessly punched setting buttons on the copier. *Feelings for Josh. I knew they were all thinking it around the time of the shooting - I'm not that unobservant - but no one's ever accused me of it out loud before. I wonder if the whole West Wing thinks I'm in love with him. God, they probably do.* The copier screeched to a halt and she began with a weary sigh to tug out the jammed paper.

*I mean, not that there's anything wrong with Josh.* She paused mid-tug. *Okay, there are some things wrong with Josh. But it wouldn't be like a stupid thing to be in love with him.* Another pause. *Not an entirely stupid thing, anyway. He is occasionally nice. When he remembers to be. And he has a good heart somewhere underneath that ego.* He probably still thought she never knew about the NSC card - the one that would give him safety in the event of a nuclear strike. Little did he know Ginger had overheard both Josh's conversation with Sam about their relationships with their assistants, and his later conversation with C.J. *She's right, sometimes he is really sweet.* Her face reddened all over again as she thought of his actions New Year's Eve. She'd felt like an idiot - and she had definitely placed some blame for her mood on him - but he'd made an effort. He couldn't help the fact that she'd been expecting something that wouldn't come, but he'd held her and listened to her without passing judgement of any kind. *Oh my God. I do have feelings for him. What am I, stupid?*

*Wait. Let's be rational here. I don't feel any different about Josh today than I did yesterday, or any of the days before that. I've always cared about him. This is silly. Feelings for him don't have to be romantic.*

*Then what was I thinking on New Year's?* She had pretty much given up on pretending that she hadn't expected him to kiss her, because she had - or at least she'd hoped he might. Somehow after the shooting, and the summer they'd spent basically together, and the tempestuous Christmas Eve they'd shared, she'd expected - well. No use dwelling on that now. *The question is, does wanting him to kiss me that night mean I have feelings for him?*

*I'm afraid it might. Especially since he did kiss me, and I kissed him back. And I liked it.*

*And Margaret thinks I should tell him? Yeah, sure. 'Hey Josh, I just thought, you know, since your ego needs some boosting, that I'd let you know I'm in love with you. Feel free to use this to your advantage or, you know, just laugh at me a lot.' Sure. Right.*

*Actually, I don't think he'd laugh.* She thought ruefully of his nervousness that night at her apartment, about his unwillingness at first to touch her the night before in his office, about his complete unawareness of her feelings. *He'd freak out. He'd probably have me reassigned.*

*I work in the White House, and I have a thing for my boss. This cannot be good.*

*Wait. I mean, obviously this didn't happen overnight. You don't wake up one morning in love with your boss. I've cared about him for a long time. Why should it be any harder now? No, things can just go on exactly like normal. No reason why anything has to change. He doesn't know - he may be the only one, but he doesn't know - and he won't.* With new resolve she slammed the copier shut. *Not until he's come to his senses and realized he's in love with me.*

*And that could take a while.*

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

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