Still Standing

by: Allison

Character(s): Josh, Donna
Pairing(s): Josh/Donna
Category(s): Romance
Rating: TEEN
Summary: Sequel to Great Expectations

On his way out of the staff meeting Josh was startled by a hand on his waist. "Walk with me," C.J. requested, steering him toward her office instead of his.

"Look," he began, "I explained all the -"

"It's not about that." She pulled him into the office and closed the door. "Well, okay, yeah, it is. But not really," she added before he could comment. "It's about Donna."

He sighed and settled himself into her visitor's chair. "C.J., the last time we had a conversation about Donna you told me she had a crush on me."

"She does."

He waved his hand absently. "And maybe she has a little crush, but that's all. A very little crush. Like the one I had on Olivia Newton-John when I was eighteen."

She grinned and gave him a suggestive look over the rims of her glasses. "Olivia Newton-John?"

"Shut up."

"I really don't think we can compare Donna's feelings for you to your crush on Olivia, Josh."

He shook his head. "She's twenty-six, C.J. I'm nearly forty. I'm her boss. Like you said before, I gave her a chance that she desperately needed. Begged for, even. And we flirt sometimes. It's the way we are - and I admit, it can be - intoxicating. But any feelings she might have for me are just that - a crush."

C.J. leaned forward in her chair. "What happened when you went after her on New Year's, Josh?"

He swallowed hard. "What do you mean?"

She continued as if he hadn't spoken. "'Cause, as Toby loves to point out, sometimes I think of things later. And one of those things is that you explained why you were asking about Donna being sore, but you never explained why you were leaving her apartment in the daytime when you went over there at approximately twelve-thirty AM."

He wondered idly whether it was possible to order the human body not to sweat or blush.

In the pause, C.J. pulled off her glasses and looked at him with her kindly face. He could never resist the kindly face - he highly doubted that anyone could. "I'm not asking as the press secretary so I can yell at you, Joshua," she said gently. "I told you the other day I was worried and I still am."

He took a deep breath and shifted in the chair. "She told me that she left the party because she was - for lack of a better word, depressed. That isn't what she said, but that was the general gist." He looked up at C.J. appealingly. "She was lonely. I stayed the night to keep her company. But nothing happened. Nothing would ever have happened."

"She told you she was lonely?"

"Yes," he replied quietly. "Sort of. Not in so many words."

"What else did she say?" she asked in that same gentle tone.

His fingers fidgeted on the arms of the chair. "She said she had expected this year to be different, because of all the things that changed."

"All the things that changed?"

"I asked her what she meant by that." He looked away from her penetrating gaze. "She avoided the question."

"Josh -"

"I admit, for a while there I thought you were right, that she had feelings - but no, I don't think -"

"What else happened?" C.J. interrupted. "What else made you think I might be right?"

He tried his best to glare severely. "Don't we have work to do? Like running the country or something?"

She smiled sympathetically, which he hated. "Five minutes won't kill anyone. What else -"

"Okay," he broke in. He sighed. "The way she said that - about things changing - made me think of what you said. So I asked her..." He hesitated, embarrassed. "I asked her if she needed me."

C.J. pressed her hand to her heart. "Sometimes you actually say the right thing."

"Yeah, well. She said yes."

C.J.'s eyebrows shot up. "And this wasn't a clue to you that..."

He shrugged. "I thought so. Anyway, so I stayed." His voice cracked a little on that last word. C.J. gave him her best suspicious look. He caved under pressure. "Okay, there was a little more to it than that." She raised her eyebrows in mute questioning and he mumbled a reply under his breath.

C.J. just about fell out of her chair. "Could you repeat that? 'Cause it sounded like you said you carried her to bed and slept in it with her."

"That is what I said," he moaned, one hand covering his face.

"Joshua!"

"I asked!" he retorted. "I left it up to her. The final decision was hers. And really nothing happened. We shared the bed, but it was totally innocent."

"So, you went to bed and neither of you said another word?" She was understandably skeptical. Josh and Donna were so seldom quiet together - in fact, never - that any silent moment between them would have to be intimate in the extreme.

He rubbed at his forehead uncomfortably. "I kissed her."

"Where?"

"In bed."

"That's not what I meant."

"On the lips."

"You said -"

"It was completely innocent, C.J.! It wasn't a high school makeout session. I kissed her, she kissed me back a little, it was really short, we went to sleep. End of story."

C.J.'s smile had returned. "She kissed you back, huh?"

"Okay, so that's why I thought you were right."

She was trying her hardest not to look smug. "Okay."

"That, and the fact that she was holding my hand."

This time her eyes closed and she leaned her head back, obviously worried all over again. "Josh, that's a woman who's in love with you."

"She's really not."

"Then how do you -"

"She was lonely, I'm her friend, I was there. I was a warm body, C.J."

She looked at him intently. "How do you figure that?"

"Because nothing has changed between us. I mean, it was a little weird there for a second when we had to talk about why I left without waking her, but we're just going on as usual. Or rather she is. She seems completely unaffected, whereas I can think of nothing else. And that, my friend, I can definitely blame on you."

"If it makes you feel better." She smiled at him again, this time the sad smile she usually reserved for the retreating back of Danny Concannon's head. "What are you thinking?"

"What am I thinking?"

"You said you could think of nothing else," she repeated softly. "What are you thinking?"

He shook his head in total helplessness. "I don't know. I don't know."

"You admitted to me that you had some feelings for her."

"Yes, I did." He sank his head into his hands. "They're not any clearer now than they were then."

"So -"

"This is crazy." He stood up abruptly and headed for the door. "We're talking about my assistant here. And I love her like an assistant, like Sam loves Cathy or for that matter like you love Carol. Anything else is just insane." He closed the door hard on his way out.

And ran smack into Toby. "Hi," Toby said, clearly trying not very hard to hide his concern.

"Hi."

"Everything okay?"

Something made Josh pour out, "C.J. thinks Donna's in love with me."

Toby nodded slightly, his usual enigmatic look on his face. "She is, Josh," he said quietly. He turned and headed down the hall without another word, leaving Josh staring in wonder.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When Sam wandered into Josh's office after speaking with Toby at the conclusion of the staff meeting, he was surprised to find his friend's assistant sitting at her boss's desk. "Hey, Donna," he said cheerfully.

Donna looked up with a ready smile. "Hey, Sam."

"What are you up to?"

She shook her head. "Josh stayed late last night and got to the files again. It'll take me half the morning to put them back in order." She looked up from her work solicitously. "Do you need him?"

"Nah, I was just bored." On his way out he turned. "Hey Donna? Josh mentioned you'd hurt your back -"

"It's fine," she said. "I slipped on some ice. Josh - is having some issues, none of which involve me I hope, but which are making him obsess over my scrapes and bruises."

Sam came back and sat across from her at the desk.

"Oh no," Donna said, laying down her work completely. "We're going to have a talk, aren't we?"

"Uh-huh."

She sighed. "What's he done?"

"Well, I was hoping you'd tell me."

She gave him a quizzical look. "What do you mean?"

Sam raked a hand through his hair, not comfortable with broaching this subject. "On New Year's you were upset about something, and he went after you, and now he's obsessing over your back and having people shovel your steps and you - sound like you're trying really hard to sound normal."

Her eyebrow lifted. "I don't sound normal?"

"You're faking it. Something's up."

"Nothing's up, Sam."

"It is."

"It's really not."

"Did he stay over again?"

"What?" Her anxious tone gave her away thoroughly. He repeated his question as a formality.

"Did Josh stay over at your place again?"

Her resigned look came over her face, the one she adopted when she was forced to concede a point. Sam would have no way of knowing this, but Josh secretly referred to it as the yes-my-boyfriend-was-older expression. "On New Year's he did."

"All night?"

"Yes." She had also adopted that signature rapid-fire delivery that she used as a defense when asked uncomfortable questions.

"Did anything happen?"

"No."

"Donna."

"Not really."

"Donna."

"He kissed me. Once. Then he left in the morning without waking me and he's been uncomfortable around me ever since." She stopped and exhaled sharply. "Okay?"

"Okay," Sam said quietly. He stood. "I know things are kind of weird -"

"They're not weird, Sam. We're just still a little off-balance from the ATVA thing."

"Right." He had one hand on the doorknob. "I just wanted to say, you know, if you need me..."

She smiled gratefully. "Thanks."

Sam leaned into the door preparatory to opening it and nearly fell through it when it opened seemingly on its own. "Sam!" Josh exclaimed, startled.

Sam, with his usual complete inability to hide anything, said nothing but looked nervously from Josh to Donna and back and then hightailed it out the door.

"What is wrong with people?" Josh said rhetorically, forgetting that the object of all this confusion was the other person in the room.

"You're asking this now?" Donna quipped, glad to hear his normal tone. "You have a meeting with Congressman - hang on, I have it."

He stopped her, reaching impulsively for her hand. "Donna, hang on a second."

Her eyes widened. "Oh, my God. You got fired."

"I did not get fired."

"You're sick."

"I'm not sick."

"What is it?" She squeezed his hand in what she hoped was a supportive fashion. "You can tell me. I can handle it. I'm here for you. What happened?"

"What makes you think something horrible happened?" he asked, his tone slightly amused.

"Because you're being - " she fumbled for the words. "It would be like me bringing you coffee," she said finally.

He dropped her hand, all amusement gone from his tone. "You're right. Why else would I ever - never mind."

"Josh?" She still looked concerned. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, turning away from her and heading for his desk. "Fine. It's really nothing you need to worry about. I'll see you later."

Consider yourself dismissed, she thought. Okay. "Sure." She pulled the door shut after her as she left.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

| << Back | Send Feedback | The National Library |