Lessons

by: Allison

Character(s): Josh, Donna, CJ
Pairing(s): Josh/Donna
Category(s): Romance
Rating: YTEEN
Summary: A friendship provides a basis for dealing with other relationships as well.

I don't hear what Sam says in response to this because I'm busy dying quietly. I do gather myself enough to scoot over in front of the monitor, so that by the time Sam leaves I don't look like I've been listening to their conversation.

Sam leaves. I'm afraid to look at him, so I stare intently at the computer screen. He closes Josh's door behind him. I wait nervously, typing so badly that the backspace key becomes my new best friend. Josh doesn't come out. And doesn't come out, and doesn't come out. Hmm. Well. It's possible that he's embarrassed about what almost happened between us, although it certainly didn't seem that way at the time. It's possible that CJ's come in through the adjoining door and they're talking very quietly. It's also possible that he's fallen off his chair and knocked himself unconscious. The way I see it, I have two options here. I can continue to sit here and drive myself crazy, or I can go in there.

I'm going in there.

I knock as a gesture. "Josh? Are you alive in there?" There's no answer and I crack the door and call through it, "Are you unconscious?"

"Unfortunately, no." He sounds like hell. I wonder what happened. Maybe it was the stress of admitting he's in love with his assistant.

Hey. Josh is in love with me.

I have a really stupid grin on my face, which I try to hide as I enter his office. As an afterthought, I shut the door behind me. "Get everything taken care of?" I ask nonchalantly.

He's flipping through a stack of papers and not looking at me. "Uh-huh," he says. I know that tone. That's the Donna-get-out-of-my-office tone. Not gonna work this time.

I am, when the occasion requires, quite adept at stealth. I'm right in front of him before he realizes I'm still in the room. He looks up and gives a little shriek. "Don't do that!"

I grin. "Don't do what?"

He lays down his pile of papers and tries to catch his breath. "Sneak up on me like that."

"Oh," I say, pretending to be surprised.

He frowns. "What did you think I meant?"

"What did I think you meant?"

"Yeah, what did you think I meant you shouldn't do?"

I'm really fighting the urge to say "this" and kiss him senseless. Fighting very hard. I swallow and decide that as long as contact has been reestablished I can wait a while longer. Like till after work when there isn't, well, CJ next door. "Nothing. I'm gonna go finish typing, okay?"

He looks at me a little funny. "Okay."

I turn to leave, and he calls my name. "Donna?"

By the time I turn around he's stood up out of the chair and is alarmingly close. He does that thing where he looks down nervously, then back at me, then off to the side, then back at me again. "Last night was nice."

Yeah, it was. "Yes, it was," I reply, trying to be casual.

There's a long silence. I try to stay patient and remember that people have been telling him left and right to talk to me about his feelings. I also try to remember that I am not supposed to know this. I am quite possibly the only person in the District of Columbia who is not supposed to know this. I wait.

"I just wanted to..." He trails off, still giving me an embarrassed smile.

"Yeah," I say, smiling back. I turn to go.

"Donna?"

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. I sound harsher than I intended. "Yes, Josh?"

Oops. He looks a little taken aback by my tone. "Nothing, I just -"

Sigh. I reach out and straighten his jacket, letting my hands linger. "You have a meeting in the Mural Room in thirty seconds."

He covers my hands with his. "All right." I'm worried that he's hurt, but he slips his arm around my waist and walks me out of the office, leaving me at my desk and heading for his meeting. He squeezes my shoulder as he leaves.

Now I'm getting frustrated. Seriously, seriously frustrated.

Josh doesn't exactly avoid me for the rest of the day, but he's not breaking the door down, either. Figuratively speaking, of course, since he's the one with the door and I'm actually just sitting here out in the open. Right.

Clearly this is not going anywhere fast unless I take it there. And I've decided. I'm going to take it there.

I must look at my watch a hundred times throughout the course of the day. When I see CJ and Carol walk out together I check again. Eight-thirty. Sam left a half hour ago. Toby's knee deep in speech drafts and won't be emerging from his office for years. The other assistants are gone, except for Margaret, who's taking about a thousand pages of dictation from Leo and most likely will not be wandering down here looking for me.

Josh's door is closed. I knock and then walk in without waiting for an answer, my most stern and serious face on.

He's sitting with his feet up on his desk, one hand massaging the back of his neck while he reads something with very small print. He looks up, startled. "Hi."

"Hi."

"I didn't call you."

"No. I just came anyway." I shut the door behind me and drop into the visitor's chair across from him.

He looks at me. "Did you want something?"

"Yes."

An eyebrow shoots up. "You gonna tell me what it is?"

I shift in the chair, crossing my legs in my best professional manner. Meanwhile, what was I thinking wearing pants today? A skirt would have been so much more effective. Oh, well. "We need to talk."

Josh looks like he's going to have a heart attack. "We do?"

"Yes."

"Okay." His feet hit the floor and he looks at me warily. "What about?"

I gesture between us. "This."

"Okay, Donna, that's like the third time you've done that this week. You're going to have to define 'this' a little better for me." He's beginning to sound like himself again. I think I liked it better when he was scared.

I settle back in the chair. "I'm your assistant."

"I've noticed that."

"You're my boss."

"Haven't seen much evidence of that, but I'll take your word for it."

I pause to glare at him. "I've been working with you for three years now."

"Yes."

"And never once in those three years have we ever had a week like this one."

"A week like this one?"

"Last night? This morning? Ringing any bells there, Josh?" He definitely looks pale. Paler than usual, that is. "I do have a point."

"Let's hope so." His voice sounds kind of strangled.

"I think we have a thing."

"A thing?" I've (accidentally, he thinks) echoed both Sam and CJ and this makes him nervous. "You think we have a thing?"

I nod, trying hard to be brave despite my racing heart. "I think we have a thing."

"Um - okay."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

I sigh. "Do you think we have a thing?"

The fact that he never asks what I mean by 'thing' pretty much gives away the fact that he's been thinking about this as much as I have. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "We have a thing."

"You're pretty sure about that?"

Oh God. He's giving me the look. Yeah, that one. "I'm pretty sure," he says.

"Okay," I say.

He's still looking at me that way. I'm trying not to hyperventilate. "So what do we do now?" he asks.

"I've been thinking about that," I reply, striving for a businesslike tone. "I mean, on the surface there are a lot of problems."

"Okay," he says, obviously waiting for some elaboration.

I count off on my fingers. "Well, there's the work thing - but personally I think we'd be a lot more stable working together in a relationship than we are now, 'cause frankly we're acting crazy. Then there's the Leo thing, which I think we can beat if we manage to be sane about it. There's CJ, but she doesn't seem to care. There's the age thing, but I'm not insecure and you're not that old really." He raises an eyebrow at this, but I'm pretty sure he knows I'm teasing. "There's the fact that you're occasionally a complete jerk, but I think I can overlook that." I pause for air, grinning at the look on his face. "Basically I think it's workable."

He nods. Then he holds up one hand and starts counting. "You left out the press, which CJ assures me won't be a problem. Apparently they like you - guess there really is no accounting for taste. There's the fact that every aspect of our lives will become fodder for office gossip, but then I'm pretty sure we're there already. You are aware, I'm sure, that you have an uncanny talent for driving me crazy, but that can be fun. I agree with you on the age thing, I don't think it's that bad unless I suddenly get the urge to reminisce about watching the moon landing. Which doesn't happen very often." He stands up and comes around to my side of the desk, sitting on it directly in front of me. "You know, I'm afraid it won't work and then you'll -"

"Quit?" He nods. I stand up. "I won't quit, Josh. Anyway, it'll work."

"Sometimes I'm a real jerk."

"Yeah, I know." I grin at the look on his face. "But you're cute."

He reaches out for my hand, but doesn't quite take it. He only nudges his fingers against mine, waiting for me to take hold - which I do, gladly. For a second we both look at our hands instead of each other. He rubs the back of mine gently with his thumb and with his other hand reaches out and - pokes my hip. Twice.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask, squeezing his fingers.

"Checking," he says, grinning. "Every time I try to touch you in my office somebody comes rushing in. I'm pretty sure CJ's gone home, but I'm testing her radar."

I laugh. "I think it's okay." Toward the end of that sentence my voice kind of trails off and I suddenly get shy.

"Okay," he says. His hand slides over my hip and around my waist, pulling me closer to him. Our eyes meet and we smile. It's an acknowledgement that this is kind of weird, that we're two friends taking an unexpected step, but that it's going to be okay. He lets go of my hand to reach up and stroke my hair back from my face, and I lean ever so slightly into his touch. He brushes my cheek softly on his way down to slip his hand behind my neck. I reach out and take hold of his shoulders, starting to shake with anticipation. I'm pretty sure I'm holding my breath.

We're basically the same height, so he has to pull me down a little to kiss my forehead. I let my eyes drift closed as he moves to the bridge of my nose and then my cheek, and his hand slides gently up my back. He pauses for a second to lean his cheek against mine. For a moment I just enjoy his nearness, then I pull back and look into his eyes as I move my hands to the back of his neck. He starts forward and closes his eyes, and then mine close too by instinct. His lips brush mine so softly I could almost have imagined it. He kisses me again, just a little harder but still testing the waters.

And the phone rings.

We pull away and look at each other. "You are not answering that," I say firmly.

"I am so not answering that," he agrees. Still, we wait, still holding each other close but looking at the phone, until it stops ringing. It does eventually and he turns back to me. "Okay?"

"Okay," I reply.

We move as one, our lips meeting this time with none of the hesitation of the first time. His hand on my neck is heavenly. I tangle my fingers in his hair, and he makes a tiny sound and pulls me closer. I'm really praying at this point (with the part of my mind that is able to concentrate on something other than Josh's mouth on mine)that Leo doesn't decide he wants something.

We break the kiss finally, and he hugs me hard against him and rests his head on my shoulder. "I think that was successful," he says, a little out of breath.

"I agree," I say, trying to control my own breathing. We stay that way for a while and I rub his back affectionately. Finally he straightens up, kisses me quickly, and says, "Since I've kept you late again..."

"Dinner?" I guess.

"Definitely." We share a smile, and then he pulls out of my arms and reaches for our coats. "Let's just take my car. On the way we can decide whether we're going to tell everyone."

"Can we make them suffer for a while first?" I ask, letting him help me into my coat without comment.

He grins at me. "Oh, yeah."

I laugh in response, and he wraps his arm around my shoulders as we leave.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

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