Lessons

by: Allison

Character(s): Josh, Donna, CJ
Pairing(s): Josh/Donna
Category(s): Romance
Rating: YTEEN
Summary: A friendship provides a basis for dealing with other relationships as well.

Monday morning Josh has a meeting on the Hill which he does not want to have. What a shock, right? Right. Anyway, I'm expecting him to be gone at least an hour, which is why I'm surprised when I pass CJ's office on my way to the copy room and I hear his voice.

"Hey, how'd it go?" CJ's asking in response to his greeting. Obviously he just walked in.

"Painful," he replies. Well, what did he expect? No way Harriman was going to switch his vote and Josh knew that going in.

"Painful?" CJ sounds unusually concerned and confused. "It wasn't supposed to be painful."

"It wasn't?" Josh sounds just about as confused. Cathy passes and gives me a funny look, so I pretend to be collating papers on a spare table that just happens to be right outside CJ's partially open office door, just out of their line of sight. It doesn't sound like I'll want to ask him personally, but I want to know what Harriman said.

"CJ, they sent me to talk to a cousin of the recording secretary of the NRA. What about that did you not expect to be painful?"

"Not the meeting, you idiot!" Well, this is interesting. "Friday night."

Oh. This is very interesting.

So she did know.

"It was - nice," he says quietly.

"Nice? That's it?" Way to go, CJ. Make him talk.

"We talked," he says. Well yes, that's true. "We got some stuff out in the open, I think." Oh, really?

"Oh, really?" Couldn't have said it better myself there, CJ. "Like what?"

He pauses. I can practically hear him thinking. "Stuff."

"Did you manage to apologize yet for being a jerk?" I knew she'd be on his case about that. She was pretty pissed that night in her office.

"Yes." He sounds defensive and mock-insulted, but I can tell he's just playing with her. "I was very good."

I can hear the amusement evident in her voice. "Joshua, please tell me you're referring to the moral quality of your actions and not -"

"Get your mind out of the gutter!" he exclaims and I giggle. Serves him right for that philately crack. I have to clamp my hand over my mouth to keep them from hearing me. I am getting the weirdest looks from Carol right now. I lean toward her desk and say (not too loudly), "Someone told me a joke earlier and I just now got it." She looks like she understands. She's a lovely woman, Carol.

Anyway. CJ's still pressing Josh and she finally gets him to break. "CJ, I promise you, if you ask me just one direct yes or no question, I will answer it."

"Just one?" Go for it, girl.

"If you promise to stop driving me crazy with your open-ended innuendo I will answer as many as you want." I'm impressed that he could pronounce "open-ended innuendo" without getting all twisted up.

"Okay." She pauses. "Are you still speaking?"

"Me and... ? Yes."

"Did you fight?"

"Um - no. No, not really."

"Did you tell her the truth?"

What? Clarification, please?

"The truth being?" Thanks, Josh. I knew I could count on you, buddy.

"That you yelled at her because you were madly jealous."

I drop the stapler on my foot. Carol watches with some amusement as I try to hop around in pain without making any noise. I need to hear the answer to this one.

"No, I did not exactly tell her that."

Oh my God. He's not denying it's true. Oh my God. Josh was jealous. CJ was right. Wow - she's always right. That's a little scary.

Josh was jealous. That's a lot scary.

And it doesn't feel too bad, come to think of it. But she really needs to pump him for more details.

"So?"

"So?" he echoes. "I think that qualifies as open-ended."

She fumbles for a second - trying, I'm sure, to come up with a yes-or-no way of asking what she wants to know. "Did she forgive you?"

There's a long silence. "I don't - don't ask that," he replies quietly.

"What happened?" she asks worriedly.

He sighs. Loudly. "I don't think - I think she had already forgiven me. I mean, I don't think she was angry anymore, if she ever was. She was hurt. And you know, she can forgive me but that doesn't mean she's not still hurt by it."

Way to go, Josh. I think he's just had a breakthrough. I'd like to applaud.

"No, it doesn't," CJ agrees.

"You're not helping here, you know that?"

"I'm your best friend, it's not my job to boost your ego." I hear some papers rustling. "So - do you think she is still hurt?"

He sighs again. "I don't know. I hope not. I tried."

He did. I'll give him that.

"How'd it end?"

"CJ..."

"Okay, okay." She pauses. "Yes or no - you went back to your apartment."

"Watched a movie. Yes."

"Talked more?"

"Not much."

"Should you have?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Okay." Her wheels are turning like mad. I can't even see her and I know what her face looks like right now. "Did you sit with her?"

"In the same room? Absolutely."

"You know what I meant. Near her?"

"Yes."

"Actually touching?"

His little hesitation is kind of cute. "Yes."

"Platonic?"

"Of course." He sounds defensive again. Oh. Hmm.

"Josh, in the interest of full disclosure I should tell you something."

Oh no. Oh. No. There is nothing I can think of that I want CJ to be telling him right now. This cannot possibly be good.

"Oh God, what?" Obviously he agrees.

"Well, you know how I told you that somebody who overheard told me what you said to Matt about Donna?"

It takes him a moment to sort through the verbs in that sentence. "Yes?"

"Well, somebody else was with me and heard it too."

"Who?"

She pauses for just long enough to make him crazy. "Donna."

Uh-oh.

"You told Donna that I said that?" I can hear him pacing around the room. His shoes make noise.

"No, Ca- the person who told me told her."

I hope Carol can't hear this conversation.

Suddenly Josh's shoes stop. "CJ," he says thoughtfully. His tone is dangerous. "CJ."

"Yes?" She sounds faintly nervous.

"CJ."

"Yes?"

"Claudia Jean Cregg -"

"Damnit Josh, what?" she explodes.

"You told her that you thought I was jealous, didn't you?"

Wow. Josh is smart.

And CJ is in real trouble.

"I might have suggested something of the kind," she sputters.

Oh, no no no Madame Press Secretary. Deny everything.

"Oh God," he says. "She knows." He's obviously too distressed to kill CJ - but wait. Knows what? What do I know?

"I'm sure she doesn't," CJ tries to soothe him. Obviously she knows what he's talking about. "She's a little insecure about you, you know."

You think?

"You're the one who suggested we should spend some time together," he accuses. This is getting extremely interesting. "You said, and I quote, that if I went and confessed my undying love she'd probably have me committed. So what are you telling her I was jealous for?"

Oh. My. God.

I can actually feel the color draining from my face. My heart may have stopped. My head is reeling. I'm having one of those weird adrenaline surges where you get so out of control you can't keep track of what you're doing. My entire body is shaking. I feel like I might pass out. My knees actually buckle and I have to sink into a chair. I'm shaking so hard the chair shakes with me.

Josh told CJ he was in love with me.

No, wait. No he didn't. I really really need to work on this jumping to conclusions thing. He probably told her that he was jealous of Todd the insurance lobbyist for one reason or another, or that he cared about me, or maybe even that he found me attractive (that would be nice). That stuff about confessing his undying love was just a - a figure of speech. An exaggeration. I cannot keep reading so much into these things.

I'm still shaking. I have to go.

I'm back in his office for about two minutes when the door flies open behind me and I jump about nine feet in the air.

"Donna, what are you doing in my office?"

Standard Operating Procedure, Donna. "Looking for you out the window. How'd I miss you?"

"I'm sneaky that way." I take a deep breath. Is he looking at me strangely? No, I'm being paranoid.

"Hey, Donna? You in there?" I haven't spoken in nearly two minutes. He thinks I've gone crazy.

I have gone crazy. I thought he was in love with me.

Well, I can't be completely wrong. He's definitely in - something.

"Sorry," I say too quickly. "I zoned out."

He narrows his eyes at me. "Everything all right?"

Uh-oh. "Yeah," I say, once again way too quickly.

"'Cause you're shaking."

"Am I?" Oh God. Even my voice is shaky now. Must remain calm. I'm not supposed to know anything.

If there's anything to know.

"Donna!" He steps forward and removes the stack of papers I'm still clutching from my hands. He takes my hands in his and holds them up for me to see. They're shaking like leaves in a hurricane. "God, I can't even hold them still. What's the matter?"

I shake my head desperately. "Nothing. Too much coffee. I'm fine."

I must sound pretty bad. He drags me over to the couch, kicking the door shut on his way there, and pushes me down onto it. "Donna, come on. Tell me."

If he's going to be nice I'm in real trouble. I better come up with something fast. Dumped? No, he knows I haven't been seeing anyone. Death in the family? With my luck the supposedly dead person would drop in for a visit next week. Sick? He'd send me home. What I need is a problem he can't insist on fixing. Um... "It's really okay."

"No, it's not," he insists. "You're still shaking." He glances over at the closed door, then reaches over and pulls me hesitantly into his arms.

This is exactly what I did not need, but I can't help myself. I feel guilty for taking advantage of his misplaced sympathy, but it feels unbelievably good to rest my head on his shoulder and let him rub my back. I don't know how long he's planning on holding me, but I don't think I could pull away if my life depended on it.

I also think - no, I know that a few months ago if he asked what was bothering me and I said it was nothing, he would have dropped it. He would not be sitting here holding me in his office.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell me what it is?" he asks softly.

I shake my head, or try to. "It's really nothing. It's just -"

"Tired?"

I sigh in relief. "Yeah."

He pulls me closer, if that's even possible. "When's my next appointment?"

"Nine-thirty."

"It's nine-forty-five."

"No, it's not. Your watch sucks. It's nine-fifteen."

"Where am I going?"

"Leo's."

He sits back in the couch, taking me with him. "Then we have a couple minutes."

Huh? "I guess so," I say, a little lost.

He nods. "Then just relax for a while. I'll watch the time."

"Josh -"

He pats my head. "When it says ten it'll be nine-thirty, right?"

"I give up," I mutter from his shoulder. He laughs. Whew. Relationship mostly unchanged.

He's still stroking my hair, though, which is a bit distracting. "Close your eyes for a minute. I promise I won't be late."

My eyes drift closed of their own volition. It's only nine-fifteen and this day has already been way too much. "This is utterly unprofessional," I manage to grumble.

"When has that ever stopped us?" he asks, and I can hear him grinning.

I give in. He may not actually be in love with me, but this is irresistible. I wonder if he's aware of just how much time I've been spending in his arms lately.

Well, since he's initiated just about all of it, I guess maybe he is.

There's a quiet knock at the adjoining office door. "CJ, go away," Josh mumbles.

I hear the door open. "Um, Josh?" CJ asks, amusement clearly evident in her voice. I pretend with all my might to be asleep. He gets to explain this one.

"Hi, CJ," he says.

There's a pause, during which I can only assume she's making some sort of face at him.

"I have a minute between meetings, and Donna was so tired she was shaking," he whispers.

"Already? It's nine o'clock Monday morning."

I feel him nod. "I know. I'm afraid she might be getting sick."

Oops. Remind me later to ease his worry.

"Joshua."

"What?" He's getting testy with her.

"You are so lovesick it's cute, you know that?"

I hope she can't see my face blushing, because I'm really not supposed to have heard that.

From the sudden panicked downturn of his head I'm guessing Josh just checked to make sure I was asleep. "Could you not say things like that?"

He's not denying it.

CJ laughs quietly. "What, you think it's a big secret at this point?"

There's a long pause. "What am I going to do?"

She sounds seriously amused now. "I'd say you're doing pretty well so far."

The door closes behind her and he shifts, pulling me closer. I wonder how many more minutes we have until nine-thirty. I think I'm shaking again.

I want really badly to lean up and kiss him. I don't, naturally. One of us has to remember that we're at work, and that's generally my job. Plus I'm supposed to be asleep.

I think today's lesson is fairly obvious. The only question is, who's going to talk about it first?

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

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