Great Expectations

by: Allison

Character(s): Josh, Donna
Pairing(s): Josh/Donna
Category(s): Romance
Rating: TEEN
Summary: Another New Years story.
Spoiler: Just about everything up to Noel, just to be safe - heavy ITSOTG
Author's Note: I'm trying to reexamine the whole Josh/Donna thing, since I'm thinking in my other stuff they may have jumped to a romantic thing too quickly. Well, we'll see

By the time Donna returned to the smaller room Josh was deep in conversation with Leo and an aide from the Department of Defense. He glanced over as she entered and their eyes met. He sent her an enigmatic look, not exactly curious but uncertain, and then returned to his conversation. She stood frozen near the doorway, her eyes scanning the room for some refuge from the bout of melancholy that had come over her. She spotted Margaret and Ginger over in a corner and heaved a deep sigh of relief.

Margaret and Ginger at least looked happy to see her and Ginger reached behind her to pull up an extra chair. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Donna said, her voice sounding petulant and almost on the edge of breaking down.

Margaret frowned. "Because you look worried about something and you sound awful."

For exactly four seconds Donna considered talking about it. She decided it was more complicated than she had the energy to get right then. "I'm just tired," she lied, leaning her head against the wall. "I don't know how I'm going to make it to midnight."

Ginger checked her watch. "Only fifty-five minutes to go."

"But the party lasts till one," Margaret reminded them.

Donna sighed. "Think anyone would notice -"

"Hey, if we're stuck here, you're stuck here."

"It's not so bad," Ginger said in her characteristically quiet way. "I mean, would you have had a date for tonight if you weren't here?"

"I could have scrounged something up," Donna replied, striving for her usual tone.

"I got excused last year, remember?" Margaret said. "I spent New Year's eating cheese with my cousin in Baltimore and calling Leo every nine seconds to make sure -" She broke off abruptly.

"To make sure what?" Donna asked, her curiosity pulling her momentarily out of her slump.

Margaret paused just too long to sound cavalier about it. "Just to make sure he was okay." In the silence that followed she seized an opportunity to turn on Donna. "What do you mean, you could have scrounged something up? You'd rather be with someone you scrounged up than here?"

Donna's mouth opened and closed a few times before she came up with an answer. "At least I wouldn't have to be here."

Margaret gave her a skeptical look. "You and Josh are connected at the hip. I'd have thought you'd be here even if it wasn't mandatory."

"It's just depressing, that's all." She leaned back against the wall again. "And we are not."

Margaret and Ginger exchanged looks before Ginger spoke. "Depressing?"

Donna shook her head, unable to formulate a coherent sentence. "Just - everybody - never mind."

This time her two friends frowned worriedly at each other. Margaret reached out and put an arm around Donna, pulling her close. "Whatever it is, can we help?"

Donna was suffering from that quirk of some personalities that makes them able to withstand all kinds of conflict and struggle but makes them burst into tears as soon as someone is nice to them. Margaret's concerned kindness made her feel sorry for herself, which was what she had been fighting valiantly all night. The tears sprang to her eyes and she had to blink furiously to keep them back. She couldn't speak until she had swallowed against the lump in her throat. "No, I don't think so. I'm just - I'm just really tired." She knew she sounded bad, but she also knew they couldn't press her any further - they had to see she was near breaking down and she knew they wouldn't push her in public.

Margaret hugged her for a while, letting the younger woman rest against her shoulder. "Do I need to beat anybody up? You just let me know, Donna."

That earned her a short, choked laugh. "No."

"Okay." Margaret sent Ginger another worried look over Donna's head.

"Josh," Leo said as the aide turned away from them to get more champagne, "Is Donna okay?"

"Donna?" Josh echoed. His current state of hyper-awareness made him sound like he was hiding something, which only reinforced Leo's concern. "Why?"

Leo jerked his head toward a far corner of the room. Josh turned and quietly observed Donna leaning exhaustedly against Margaret's shoulder, looking completely wearied. "I don't know," he said honestly. "We were just talking a minute ago and she seemed fine."

Leo's eyes narrowed. "Did you do something?"

"No!" He frowned. "I don't think so. Oh, hell."

"What?" his boss asked suspiciously.

Josh spread his hands helplessly. "Well, I don't think I did anything, but you know women. Come to think of it, there was a second where I thought she didn't look quite right, but she said she was fine."

Leo's tone was more gentle. "Are you sure she didn't just feel uncomfortable talking to you?"

Josh raised an eyebrow. "The woman dressed me for a month. What could she possibly feel uncomfortable talking about?"

"I'm just saying, you're still her boss. Maybe she just felt better about talking to Margaret and Ginger."

"Or Sam?" Josh said almost sarcastically. "They were talking up a storm earlier."

Leo stared at him. "Josh."

"I am not jealous."

Even though that was exactly what he'd been thinking, Leo asked, "Who said you were?"

Josh knew he was trapped. "I just dug myself a hole there, didn't I?"

The Chief of Staff looked serious. "Uh-huh."

Josh sighed. "Earlier CJ said she thought I was jealous of Sam."

"Are you?"

"That would be stupid."

"Yeah, it would," Leo returned. "Mainly because there's nothing between Sam and Donna that there isn't between, say, you and CJ. Just for starters."

"But why would you think I'd be bothered by something between Sam and Donna?"

Leo just looked at him. "Josh."

"I mean it. Why -"

"Josh." Leo took a deep, careful breath. "Just - be careful with her, okay? Work out whatever it is that's going on inside your head, and do it before it starts causing problems."

Josh tried to laugh. "Leo, I don't -"

"Josh. Look at my face. I know."

"You know, that might work on Margaret, but -"

"Josh..."

"Okay."

Leo nodded and walked away. Josh looked at his watch. Eleven-twenty. Which meant eleven-thirty-five. He had this down.

He walked over to the tightly knit circle of assistants, watching Donna sit up straight and rub at her eye as he approached. "Hello, ladies," he said, managing to sound completely uncomfortable.

Fortunately Margaret and Ginger didn't pick up on it and Donna wasn't paying attention. Ginger stood and shyly kissed Josh on the cheek. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," Josh replied with a pleased smile. Margaret followed suit, adding quietly in his ear, "I'm glad you're okay." He met her eyes and was suddenly inspired. "Can I borrow you for a second?" Margaret gave him a confused nod but followed him to another corner of the room. Donna leaned back in her chair again, eyes sliding almost closed and a completely listless expression on her face.

"Did Donna talk to you?" Josh asked without hedging.

Margaret gave him a look that she had either learned from Leo or perfected through years of fighting with him.

"I'm not trying to pry," Josh reassured her. "I'm worried."

The tall redhead relented and shrugged. "She didn't really say much. Just that being here is depressing."

"Just that being here is depressing?" Josh repeated. "That's not much to you?"

"I mean she didn't say why."

He exhaled heavily. "Well, I guess she doesn't really have to."

"You know?"

He shook his head. "No. I mean, yeah, kind of. She just doesn't want to be stuck here at work on New Year's Eve." He sounded oddly hurt, but Margaret let it slide.

"I guess that could be it," she said somewhat doubtfully. "She said something about she'd rather be anywhere else."

"There you are then," he said dully. He looked so despondent that Margaret patted his shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she'll be fine after the holiday," she said with a certainty she didn't feel. "Some people are just like that."

She didn't believe it, and neither did he. "Have you ever known Donna to be less than ecstatic about a holiday - any holiday?" he asked.

Margaret had to shake her head. "I don't know. She said she was just tired. She only has - fifteen minutes to go till midnight and an hour after that. She probably just needs some rest."

Josh nodded. "I guess there's nothing I can do if she doesn't want to talk about it. Thanks, Margaret." He squeezed her arm, thinking, Plus, I'm the problem anyway. She doesn't want to be stuck here with me. "CJ must be wrong," he murmured aloud as Margaret walked away.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

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